Voicing our emotions, the things we really want to say, those dark and fiery truths, but seldom does, those are the ghosts haunting us.

Today, I had a flashback memory about a specific insident in my past. Where I was the meek one and kept silent in a conflict situation. Not sure why I was triggered to go back there but suddenly I could feel the same emotions I felt that day. The powerlessness, the frustration.

It was anger I felt, fear gripping my throat, my body trembling from adrenal rush, my fists tightening, and jaws clenching. Then instead of keeping my mouth shut, keeping the hurt and thoughts inside, I looked the person in the eyes as said, “Screw you!!”

It felt good. I decided to dig deeper and go back to more of those memories where I felt I have given my power away. Where I should have said no, but tried to keep the scales balanced. Trying to keep the peace, not stir things, but then it anyways ended bad. I placed myself in one of those situations and instead of hiding the truth, I talked back, telling my truth out loud, saying loud and clear, “Screw you!” Then walking out of the situation, and turning my back and feeling a sense of satisfaction.

We cannot always stand up against persons in all situations, but taking the time to go back and speak your truth, even to yourself, gives you a boost of confidence and some power back.

It is for no one else, but for me, it is part of my healing, part of me taking back what I have given away. Standing up again for me

Next time, maybe instead of backing off, instead of giving your power away, you can step up and voice just a small part of your thoughts. And later when you have enough power back, you can say at last, “Screw you!” and shut the door behind you and leave…