Everyone has relationship difficulties right? That’s what I hear every day. In excusing one tense conversation after another. Or having to say what she’s choosing to wear. Or checking her phone to make sure she’s not got to reply to a social media direct message or text message.

Do the pet dogs notice? The tense atmosphere? One (her dog) always having to always be on the lead. The second dog (his) allowed to go off lead. That’s the way it is? Her dog will only run off!

Do the dogs get along? There is a divide between them. With his dog having more freedom. And hers not. But both dogs are aware of the tension. How doors slam. Or the closed doors. The whispers. The occasional loud voice. But isn’t that normal? Everyone can’t get alone all the time?

After a few months though. Both dogs realise that they’re different to the other dogs in the park. Other dogs don’t keep constantly check what their owner is telling them to do. They’re showered with love. The dogs can tell the way their owners look at them. And are with them. No teasing with treats. No yanking on the lead. If there’s more than one dog in a family, bother treated the same.

Domestic abuse is subtle. It doesn’t have to be items thrown about. Physical injuries. How can it be domestic abuse if it’s just hurt feelings? As everyone’s different right?

But one day, when she doesn’t do what he wants straight away. He decides to hurt her dog. A kick. Her dog yelps. A few hours later in pain. She convinces him that she must take her dog to the vets. So off she goes.

The vet asks what’s happened. She makes up some excuse about rough playing with the other dog. But this vet has received training in recognising the signs of domestic abuse. Although the consultation is only a few minutes. The vet asks if everything is ok at home? She says of course it is. The vet points to a poster on the consulting room wall. This is a domestic abuse helpline poster. With details of a local number and website. The vet mentions that if she needs to talks to someone then this confidential number can be useful.

So she got more than she bargained for going to the vets! Later that week, she ponders what to do. Having time to think, she realises it’s been bad enough living with the tension. Is it normal to not be happy? No-one can be happy all the time can they?

Now her dog has been hurt though, she realises that this may have gone too far. He can’t start hurting her dog. But he said he’d never do it again. Can she trust him?

Unsure, she decides to try the helpline. The advisor she speaks to is lovely. Reassures her she’s not over reacting. And she doesn’t have to make any big decisions. This in itself is reassuring. She doesn’t think she can make any decisions. As she’s not had to for ages, as he makes all the decisions.

She calls the helpline a few times over the next few weeks, to get advice and work out what to do. Then he does it again. Her dog gets hit. She’s noticed also that he keeps teasing the dogs. Trying to control them. She can’t put with this any longer. She almost doesn’t mind if it’s just her getting ‘controlled’. But her dog has been her lifeline. A reassuring comfort when things have been bad.

The domestic abuse helpline lets her know of her options. And she’s surprised to learn that it’s possible to get temporarily housed with her dog. But she feels guilty at the prospect of leaving his dog behind. She knows that dog is also at risk.

But knowing there are kind people out there, who can help her and her dog is a relief.

Do you know someone who maybe in a toxic relationship? Someone who’s got a pet who’s also affected? There is help.