I believe in true love. I believe you will meet someone and have a relationship filled with mutual love, respect, admiration, caring, and commitment. When it is true love, you will experience that balance in the relationship. It won’t be perfect, but it certainly won’t be draining, exhausting, painful or one-sided. When you meet the right person, your partner will want to do things for you, please you, take care of you, and be mindful of your well-being. You will feel connected and content. True love is absolutely worth the wait.

When we are heartbroken and frustrated with our dating lives, the problem lies in that we are not honest with ourselves. Many of us, myself included, have been guilty of this. We are the person in the relationship that tries too hard. We are the person in the relationship that is always trying to fix things. We are the one ignoring bad behavior in hopes of things changing and getting better. We are the one who lent the money, paid the rent, cosigned a loan, just to name a few outrageous things. We made it easy for the other person in hopes that this display of adoration would translate into falling in love, and the person would never leave.

But the person left because this wasn’t true love. As well-meaning as we might have been, this was actually manipulating someone to stay in the relationship. There wasn’t mutual respect and admiration. You gave, and the other person took until you were completely drained, broke, shattered, and stressed out trying to pick up the pieces of your life.

I have seen this happen to well-meaning people over and over again. They don’t trust the process of love, so they feel they have to jump in the minute they meet someone and completely overwhelm the person with their love, time, attention, energy, and money. I am always coaching people to stop giving everything away to a person who is unworthy.

In the future, when you go on a date, do things differently. Before you go out, look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are wonderful and worthy of love. Take a deep breath before you head out. On the date, sit back and listen. Don’t jump in and feel the need to fill in all the silent moments or to tell your whole life story. Just relax and smile. It will feel awkward the first few times you do this, but then you will come to enjoy how nice it feels to not have to do anything or to prove yourself. You are perfect, just the way you are.

Trust that you will meet your soulmate and experience true love. Be patient as you date because now you are looking for someone who can give you the love, respect, commitment, consideration, and caring you need before you fall in love. You are choosier as you select who you spend time with and where you give your energy, love, and kindness. Your heart will never be shattered again. Believe that you have a wonderful future ahead of you.