Dear woman,

How often do you look at your clitoris or vagina, in the mirror and be amazed about the pleasures you receive?
How often do you touch your clitoris, feel it and embrace the wonderful sensations stimulating it, brings to your body?
How often do you have an orgasm in front of the mirror and adore how your body respond to it?

Sensuality is described in the Oxford Dictionary as, “the enjoyment, expression, or pursuit of physical, especially sexual, pleasure.
Also, the condition of being pleasing or fulfilling to the senses.”
Sexuality is defined as, the capacity for sexual feelings.
Sensuality is the enjoyment of physical pleasure, the expression of physical pleasure, and pursuit for physical pleasure.
Sensuality is also a condition of being pleasing to the senses, and fulfilling to the senses. We have five senses, each needs to be used and activated to have a fulfilling sensual life.

We need to please our senses;

please what we see,

please what we hear,

please what we taste,

please what we feel,

and please what we smell.

This is real sensuality!

Are you confident with your sexuality (capacity for sexual feelings)? Do you allow yourself to feel sexual feelings? Do you own your sexuality? Do you make time for self pleasure?

If you have been abused, violated, raped, molested…do you still have the capacity for sexual feelings? Can you allow yourself to feel sexual again alone, all by yourself? In your own safe space?

It is sad that it is expected of most girls and women and many are pressured to be a sexual partner to a man after having experienced sexual trauma. How can we expect anyone to just do it? Why can’t girls and woman heal first, get back their power again, before being expected to take on the female role to satisfy another sexually?

Today many people as well as the younger generations are more open towards sexuality. Speaking their mind, stepping up. I myself grew up in a family where the word sex was like a curse word. Never used. Vagina and penis were never even mentioned. It was called something else if it ever were mentioned. The words were so difficult to say for my parents and flower for my vagina was mumbled as softly as possible. As if it was something bad and they could not dare to say the word. The shame, the filthiness, the ugly has been imprinted in our minds and beliefs. The good girl example we all need to confirm to.

Feeling ashamed about your own body, your needs, and your sexuality is such an unnecessary burden to carry. If we were created with these pleasure zones, our sexual anatomy, the clitoris to enjoy, the vagina, then why can’t we enjoy it ourselves? Why does our pleasure need to be for someone else first? The old age belief that when you get married, then your husband can enjoy your sexuality. You were made for that. Stay pure for him! I call it BS!

How twisted is it? We have been so indoctrinated that our bodies belong to someone else. How on earth would that person know what I like, if I do not even know what I like? I need to investigate and get to know myself and my body first, before any one else can do that?

The deeper question is, am I allowed to have pleasure, or is my sexuality just for my partner or husband to enjoy! There is such a thin line here, is my partner there to help me enjoy greater pleasure, or am I there for him to enjoy pleasure with my sexuality? Or are we to both experience pleasure with our sexuality?

Read that paragraph again and look inside your heart, inside the beliefs that you were taught and believe? What is your belief about your sexuality? May you have pleasure all for yourself? May you just enjoy your sexuality for yourself? May you have pleasure when someone else does not?

The old age tradition is just kept on a repeating loop and millions of girls and women just need to follow this? It is crazy, to think that we need to “keep our body pure, for someone else to enjoy.”
I want to stand up and scream it out loud;

“This is my body!
This is my sexuality!
This is my sensuality!
I will enjoy my pleasure, without guilt!
I need to know it, and enjoy it first!
No one else!
I have the right to first experience my own pleasure!
I want to know myself first in all aspects, before I allow anyone to join with me to experience my sensuality.”

I need to know what is pleasurable for me. I need to know the lovely sensations of self pleasure. Of having an orgasm, that I gave myself, not someone else. Connecting my sensuality, sexuality and pleasure to another person takes away my power. It entangles me to be dependent on that person for my pleasure and sexual satisfaction.

If that person is not in the mood, I have to wait. If that person wants it a certain way, I need to allow that. My whole sexuality I gave away to another person.

Have you ever thought, well if the other person is not in the mood, I will self pleasure, have an orgasm and relieve the need I have? I see this as part of loving myself first. I acknowledging my needs, and if I need that, and my partner does not, then I can help myself without feeling shame about it.

Do we give away our decision on what to wear to another and allow that person to be in full control of what we wear? Or what job to do, or where to live, or about our health? No! Do we just allow another person to decide what, when and how for our lives? I really do not hope so, it is toxic!

I feel we need to start to focus on sexuality like a normal everyday thing. As part of who we are. We as women cannot be ashamed of it; we cannot keep on feeling that we need to hide it. Beliefs like we need to be careful as our sexuality can provoke another, or we need to keep our sexuality covered, or be and feel ashamed. How about the other person are taught that women’s bodies are not items to be used and abused for their pleasure? Women’s bodies are their own and in order for you to be part of that and enjoy it you need to get permission first. It is on the women’s terms not the other persons! Respecting a girl and women as an individual with the right to be pretty, to be open about sensuality and sexuality, and that does not say that it is for others to misuse, or an invitation to anything.

When are we as women, going to stand in the truth of who we really are? Of who we have been made. Stand up for our girls, to create a new generation of young women knowing who they are in all aspects.

We as women have been blessed with voluptuous bodies, rounding breasts, beautiful thighs, curves, and soft skin. We just drool sensuality. A woman that accepts herself and her sexuality becomes a pure woman again. She stands up for herself and the other woman. She knows her body, what she loves and what pleasures her. She has power, she took it and realize how much she is worth, when she acknowledges and accept the power of her sexual being. She is whole again, and becomes an unstoppable force of sensual energy!

Dear woman, it is time to walk into the truth, the time is now to take back control of your own sensuality and sexuality! Why? Because you can feel free again, empowered and in awe of who you really are. Not believing the lies anymore, but stepping out to be pure woman again. Freedom from guilt, shame of who you were created to be.

You are pure woman; you are important, and you are enough!
Love.
Annelize