how do I feel? No one asks wanting to hear what I have to say..
I feel numbed if you really want to know.
I feel like my skin burnt and renewed itself to onlg burn again and stuck between burning and skin renewing itself I was overwhelmed to the point I stopped feeling anything.. floating between my thoughts and how many are they? too many if you want to know..
my heart literally beats faster thinking that I am here and that I am now and yet some things are still beyond imagination.
I always said.. my life is all about the choices I made.. the butterfly effect that had I chosen anything differently, everything would have been utterly different..
See, I am not like others.. my soul feels like a thousand years old.. it feels like it lived many lives before, different bodies.. different lives.. Some were .. remarkable and some were disastrous..but it’s still me.
In this journey, I have reached a point where I no longer want to proceed.. I want everything to stop from repeating itself.
Pain, mental pain not the physical one as this one is dealt with.
As a woman of this time and this age I feel like we as women have always had the tolerance of pain inherited.
I accepted myself as a female once I grasped what the misogynistic society and world was trying to do to us along history.
I then read what Maya Angelo said “Because even though I may stand as one, I am here as ten thousand.”
I say:
I summon my powers to ground me as I floated long enough, I have everything I need within me. All I want is for me to keep remembering who I am and what I have been through and what I’ve survived from and that shall be my armor.
I come as one but I stand as ten thousand and that is how strong I am.