Didn’t think I’d be back so soon.

I really don’t think I’d do well pregnant… the mood swings I’ve had this past week including today ( scoff ). Yes, the scoff was necessary. Not that I’m pregnant, just making a point.

This new decision to follow my instincts and be true to myself has me REELING!

I know I can do it, I mean I got the interview and will hopefully be a starting swim instructor for kids come Wednesday. But to walk away from everything I’ve been given, it fills me up with a turmoil of emotions.

Guilt is a powerful emotion that my friend has repeatedly told me is useless. I’m starting to believe her. I’ve spent so much of my life trying what others tell me to do and than feeling bad when I’m no good at it. So I try again and again, when in reality perhaps it wasn’t me that was the problem. I wanna make other people happy…

I can’t do that until I’m happy myself.

“You can’t take care of others, until you can take care of yourself” words I’ve heard to many times to count.

I’m making this post as a reminder to myself not to give up. For the first time in a long time I’m filled with drive and purpose to create a life for myself. And maybe it’s not the way that others want me to go about it. But I feel confident in my choice and that it will suit me the best at this moment.

That counts for something….

Being scared is normal, so lets learn to embrace the feeling. Beautiful things always tend to show up after.