Am I supposed to feel this lost when I’ve never seen more clearly?

I think I do more than others, because it took me so long. The time, my time. I can accept the loss, my punishment. But the time I cost others, can’t be undone. Time showed me all the depths of its cruelty. Their faith is in smithereens, exhausted and depleted.

I am everything I am because of them. Do they know that?

Can they see what appears as my deepest flaws and see my greatest strengths?

I’m a free soul. Unbound to the land. Only to people. A small few.

They are what give me flight as I take to the sky.

There are moments that I’m enraptured with the beauty and freedom I feel.

There are moments I am entirely frightened, but not from failing. . .

I am capable of anything I put my mind to, yes.

Although a little stubborn and thick headed when it comes to seeing which path best suits me.

I sincerely wish I wasn’t. I sincerely wish sometimes I was like the others that can see the straight line and walk it.

But I’m not.

I’ve always been a little directionally challenged.

As this writing shows I’m a bit of a cluster fuck.

But I’m strong.

I don’t know where I’m going, I wish I had the answer. Just gonna have to trust this feeling in my gut I’ve ignored for too long.

So, mercy. I ask shamelessly for mercy and that to gain what I’ve been looking for, I don’t have to lose what I’ve always held dear.