“True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are, it requires you to be who you are.” – Brene Brown

Imagine knowing who the people are that are meant to be with you during this chapter of your life – and to feel connected with them, no matter where life takes you.

Moving to Canada from the UK with a fiancé and two young children was bound to be full of trials, but we never could have imagined how many. Before we left, we were told countless times how brave we were. Brave or stupid? I would answer with a smile, knowing inside that it was a bold move, and also completely necessary.

As individuals, Ivan and I were both adventurous and nomadic before getting together. I freelanced for 10 years, which enabled this lifestyle – getting paid well and taking intentional breaks to travel in between. Ivan spent a decade in the military and did much the same.

Fast forward five years, and we were living in suburbia, with two young children and two steady jobs. We lost my mother-in-law just weeks before the first lockdown, and life felt hard. Full of grief, with nowhere to go, it seemed like our friends were almost out of reach, and I felt lonely for the first time that I can remember.

In the summer of 2021 we were flying to Canada to start a new life, a life on purpose.

Returning to education 20 years after my undergraduate degree, sparked a realisation of my life purpose – with a yearning for authentic connection, I realised that I was meant to help others to feel connected again. I had to start with myself.

I began testing 121 and group gatherings on-and-offline and found that with technology what it is, we can find our people and feel connected anywhere in the world, so long as we are intentional and lean into live interaction over passive social media scrolling.

It took two years of trials and a mid-life Master’s degree, but I know how to do this now, and it feels so good to have created my spiritual inner circle. I only wish I had this years ago!

Through all the trials, the people I have met have made this a self-expanding experience – each one offering a unique perspective – a clue on my path – that has expanded my understanding. Because I have been seeking them.

Here are 6 lessons I have learned to help expats and digital nomads to find your authentic voice, and find your people:

1. Give yourself time to get to know yourself. Carving out regular intentional time to recalibrate, to ask, to understand, and to present yourself in your authenticity is huge.
2. Volunteer. I have invested countless hours supporting a local TEDx, a local Green Team, and an ecovillage, meeting fantastic people along the way.
3. Be intentional with your friends. Lean into relationships that feel easy, or that challenge your ideas from a heart-centered place, aligned with the person you are becoming.
4. Stay connected to those important to you. Ensure they are aligned with the person you are becoming. Identify where you have space for them in your life. Reflect on your relationship before reaching out with authenticity. Put some regularity into your catch-ups. Quarterly is often enough to feel like people are in your life.
5. Ask questions. Imagine that every person you come across has a clue to help you on your path. Your job is to decipher what the clue is.
6. Find a coach who understands what you are going through. I had never invested in a coach before coming to Canada and the transformation has been huge. There are amazing coaches out there, what’s most important is to find one you resonate with.

About Shelley Smith Doyle:
Shelley is a Social Entrepreneur, Coach, Speaker and Workshop Facilitator at https://communiverse.vip. Shelley empowers individuals and workplace teams to embrace authentic connection at work and in their personal lives, to supercharge their wellbeing, and thrive in alignment with who they are becoming.✨