Have you ever received a compliment and ping-ponged it straight back?

‘You look beautiful today.’
‘Oh, so do you.’

Or worse, you straight out deflect it?

‘I love your dress.’
‘Oh, this old thing, I didn’t even iron it.’

Why do we habitually do this?

With almost everything. Not just compliments.

1) You were taught how to receive weirdly. 

Think back to how your Mother received (or another significant matriarchal figure in your childhood). Did she receive graciously? Or did she begrudgingly receive only to overgive in return because she felt indebted to the giver?

Your formative years taught you how to behave in the world. If you witnessed people being weird about receiving growing up, you’ll likely repeat the same behaviour.

2) You don’t believe you’re worthy of receiving.

Have you ever looked at a baby and thought;

‘You’re not worthy?’

Of course not!

So why are you any different?

You were born worthy, but along the way, you picked up some conditioning that convinced you you’re not worthy of receiving. Or that you have to prove you’re worthy (hello over-giving!)

Here’s the thing, how you receive one thing is how you’ll receive most things.

Think love, money, compliments, gifts.

So, if you want more of the above, you have to be open to receiving; otherwise, you risk habitually rejecting your souls desires.

So, what’s the cure to healing your receiving blocks? 

It’s really simple.

Put yourself in the shoes of the giver.

Cast your mind back to when you got someone you love a birthday gift.

You considered what they’d like, took the time to find and purchase it, wrapped it beautifully, wrote a thoughtful card and excitingly gave it to them, only for them to say…

‘Oh, you shouldn’t have. It’s too much.’ 

Not exactly the response you were hoping for, right?

Instead, what would you have liked them to say?

‘Oh my gosh, I love it, thank you. I feel so spoiled.’

Doesn’t that feel better as the giver?

This is why putting yourself in the shoes of the person giving is so powerful.

Next time you find yourself in the receiving position, whether it’s a compliment, a gift, or a coffee, rather than deflecting or saying, ‘I’ll get it next time‘, instead pause and ask yourself ‘how do I want this person to feel?’

When you care more about the giver than you do your own awkwardness, you begin the process of healing your receiving blocks.

The Takeaway 

You learnt how to receive during your formative year and unfortunately, most people didn’t have healthy examples of watching people receive when they were growing up. And unless you heal your awkwardness around receiving, you’ll most likely keep repeating these patterns and behaviours throughout your adult life.

But there is a simple solution.

When you receive anything, big or small, pause, put yourself in the shoes of the giver and ask yourself, ‘How do I want them to feel?’

People love to give, so why not make it a beautiful experience for them?

The more you practice this, the more comfortable it will become to receive. And over time, you will become an extraordinary receiver of all things, not just compliments.

Sarah McGahan is a Money Healer and Channel for women of impact. You can sign up for her Become an Extraordinary Receiver challenge here.