*Editor’s Note: Elephant Journal articles represent the personal opinion, view or experience of the authors, and can not reflect Elephant Journal as a whole. Disagree with an Op-Ed or opinion? We’re happy to share your experience here. 

Dear Elephants,

Welcome to this week’s Ask Me Anything, where no question is out of bounds! To submit questions for next week, please email me at [email protected]. I look forward to hearing from you! ~ Erica

Dear Erica,

I’m a 27-year-old girl who is very confused about love.

I had my first boyfriend when I was 16. I was the happiest person in the world, and most important we were also best friends. There wasn’t time during the day that we weren’t together, and we never got tired of it as we never got bored. That was love.

It doesn’t have a happy ending. He was immature and he liked to flirt with girls. I was always jealous and the arguments started to be a daily routine. We always solved them easily, but it wasn’t healthy for me. It was making me crazy. We decided to break up and one week later he started a relationship with a girl who was in my group of friends.

I was devastated. I still can remember that feeling of emptiness, fury, sadness. It’s difficult to explain but I just wanted to scream on the top of a mountain.

Since then, I have had two relationships. Neither of them worked. I was scared… What happened to me? Why hadn’t I found anyone after 10 years that I really wanted to be with? Even my sexual desire was low.

Then something good happened yesterday. I went to a friend’s birthday party and met a great guy. I think he might be the one. I want to get to know him, everything about him—I’m not thinking about sex, but I have to confess, he activated my sleepy sexual desire. I just met him one day ago, for a few hours, but I can’t explain the feeling.

Am I crazy? Do you think he feels the same?

~ Insecure

Dear Insecure,

I have no idea how he feels, but if you don’t slow down you’re going to scare him away.

I understand your frustration at not finding a fulfilling relationship, and your excitement about possibly meeting “the one,” but if you project too much onto this guy, you’re going to end up disappointed all over again.

You are only 27. There is nothing weird about you not having met the guy you will spend forever with yet. This is the stage of life where we get to learn about ourselves, try on lots of different hats and date a variety of people.

Try to calm down and take a breath. Let things unfold naturally and don’t worry so much about the future—or the past. Learning how to be in the present moment will go a long toward connecting you to your true feelings and your destiny.

Dear Erica,

I have always wanted to become a yoga instructor. From the first class I took, I was in love. The problem is, I am extremely overweight.

All of my teachers are very thin and fit, and I don’t see anyone who looks like me in my classes. As much as I love it, I also feel like a fish out of water.

There is a yoga teacher training being offered at my studio and I want to sign up, but I am really afraid of being judged. I don’t want to spend over $2,000 and end up feeling bad about myself. I don’t make a lot of money, so that would be a huge investment for me.

Should I just go for it?

~ Wanna Be Yogi

Dear Wanna Be,

You already know what I’m going to say.

Yes! Go for it!

The thing about yoga is, it’s all about practicing compassion. Compassion for ourselves, and compassion for other people.

Assuming you find yourself in a group of true yogis, or truly yogic minded people, there is no more safe or wonderful place to be. Your weight should in no way factor into your ability to learn, practice, enjoy and benefit from yoga.

In fact, your being a different size might benefit others in the long run. If you do end up teaching, imagine how many people who might otherwise be intimidated by yoga could be inspired by you.

I would only recommend that you speak with people who have gone through the yoga teacher training you’d like to sign up for. Find out if they have had a good experience there, and if so, sign on! If they haven’t, just look around for a different program. In this day and age, there are lots to choose from.

Relephant:

9 Questions to Ask Before Pursuing A Relationship.

On Being Fat, Yoga Teacher Training & the Right to Be Happy.

Author: Erica Leibrandt

Editor: Catherine Monkman

Photos: faria/Flickr, EladeManu/Flickr