I’m about to get really, really personal.

I’m probably blushing, but I’ll dive in anyway—because maybe you can relate? Maybe you’ll nod your head behind your computer screen and feel more understood and less alone.

I’ve often used sex as a way to hurt myself. To validate my own worthlessness. To fill up a terrible sadness and emptiness in myself that I could not name.

And it did hurt.

In the past, I chose partners who didn’t respect me—because I didn’t respect myself.

I did not respect them either. They did not honor me, and I did not honor them. It went both ways. And the feeling after sex was always crushing and dark—one of utmost hurt and disappointment and shame.

It’s heart-wrenching to think of the ways we use each other. All of the clever and cunning ways we have hurt each other—in love, in sex, in life, in relationships.

But underneath the scabs of that pain, we are all so vulnerable. We are so human and lonely. We want to share our lives. We want to know what it means to be truly together. We long for connection, ripe with intimacy that blooms into a love that is real.

We can have it—we can have everything we wish for.

I am coming to understand sex in a brand new way. I see it, now, as a path of healing, rather than wounding. I see it as magic, as alchemy, as an expression of art from the depths of our trembling souls.

And the implications of that change in perception are anything but small…

I believe that by changing the way we have sex, we can change the world.

So I dedicate these words to your heart and mine. I dedicate these words to every place inside us that has been hurt by intimacy, by love, by relationships, by sex.

I dedicate these words to our bravery—our willingness to be vulnerable and heal—-and to risk putting our hearts, souls and bodies out there again. Because we might just blossom; we might just experience something utterly beautiful and absurdly amazing. We might just learn to trust again.

~

Sex is sacred. 

How the feminine opens to meets the masculine,

How the masculine rises up to meet the feminine.

Sex is sacred. 

By remembering this, we change the world.

We see each other and our selves as sacred, as whole, as beautiful—

Sex becomes a ceremony, a deeply sensual celebration

Rather than a battle of fear or power, or a pitter-pattering distraction to cover the empty pangs of our wounds.

Oh no,

For sex can honor even our wounds, the tender places inside us that whisper and ache.

It becomes art; magic; life; safety; truth; healing

Rather than a chase for an ecstasy we do not understand,

For perhaps the ecstasy is in our awkwardness and uncertainty as we raise our shaky fingertips to touch one another.

So we go gently.

Lightly.

Curiously.

We smile, cry, laugh, and kiss.

We melt together slowly,  

Utterly intertwined. 

Our bodies meeting like two flames, creating an even bigger, more beautiful flame.

We fold together deliciously, passionately—

We drink each other in delicately, like the finest nectar.

We meet one another with hunger on our tongues,

With awareness, too

For a wild and sweet adventure with our bodies

A torrid and tender dance between our souls.

A flight with our spirits

That will take us we know not where.

Let’s find out.

Because sex is sacred.

It is not a cure for our worthlessness, but a great reminder of our worth.

It is a celebration of the masculine and the feminine,

And how beautifully they can meet.

How much truth and art and divinity they can create

In their most delicious collision. 

So we will take each other’s hands,

Honor me, as I am honoring you.

Breathe me out, as I am breathing you in.

Feel the softness of my lips as they land on yours.

Feel the plushness of my hips as they sway with yours.

Sex is sacred, so let us move slowly, passionately 

And take utmost care.

So we light a tall, tapered candle.

We look into each other’s eyes, without looking away.

We breathe.

We connect.

We play. 

We feel. 

We love—oh, how we love.

We smile, cry, laugh and we kiss.

And maybe we’re shaky and vulnerable, but that’s perfect.

It’s glorious! 

For we are so afraid to be vulnerable with each other, but it is what we need the most.

I honor you, as you honor me.

I breathe you out, as you breathe me in.

Weep, if you need, and I will weep with you. 

This is the way forward.

For we have been wounded—yes—hurt and tattered, unbelievably bruised

But it has only made us more beautiful.

It has only ripened our hearts, my dear. 

So let us treat our selves

And each other

With utmost care.

By changing how the feminine meets the masculine,

How the masculine meet the feminine 

We change the world.

We infuse love and respect; truth and humility in every kiss—

And that is no small thing. 

Sex is sacred.

Utterly, unquestionably so. 

Feel it with every ounce of your body. 

Because

In remembering this

We change the world.

I honor you, 

As you honor me. 

.

~

Author: Sarah Harvey

Image: Flickr/GreggMP

Editor: Yoli Ramazzina