Why Being Courteous Will Heal Our Bodies, Minds and Souls.

In an age of online trolling and absolute disrespect, old-fashioned courteousness may go a long way to heal our bodies, minds and souls.

My father was an old-fashioned gentleman. He opened doors for my mother, walked on the outside of the street to protect her, and in general always put her needs first before his. Likewise, my mother taught my sisters and me all the basics: “please and thank you.” Respect your elders. Stand up when you’re introduced to someone. Wait your turn in line. Common courtesy, right?

The word “courteous” means polite, respectful, or considerate in manner. It’s derived from “courtliness”, or “having manners fit for a royal court.” So since the Middle Ages and before, good breeding went hand in hand with good manners. In order for civilization to abide, we have to be, well, civil.

But what if there is even a deeper resonance to manners? What if there is even a deeper significance to being polite, respectful, and tolerant towards other human beings? Doesn’t almost every single philosophical and religious manifesto known to mankind focus on being kind, compassionate, and sublimating the ego for the good of all? And doesn’t the practice of these virtues require that human beings practice tolerance and specific rituals of observance? Rituals are put into place for a reason, because they provide a format and consequently give form to a proper sequence of understanding and perception.

These rituals set up a positive pattern of relationship for relating not only to the divine, but in person to person relationships.

Being courteous is not just a “social construct.” It’s not just something relative to our particular place in time and space. It’s something actually much deeper, something actually much more profound. It’s something spiritual. It’s something put into place through eons of human moral, social and spiritual development. There’s a reason it’s important to maintain unspoken rules of decorum and courteousness. Without courteousness, civilization begins to degrade. We begin to descend into chaos and dehumanizing behaviors. Just witness the horrible dehumanizing dialogues happening sometimes on social media, where all social norms seem to have been thrown out the window.

Underneath the deep fear and malcontent manifest in this breakdown of civilized values, is an underlying abandonment of even the most basic rules of decent conversation, respect and courteousness. So if we want to begin healing this social rend, and start making the social fabric whole cloth again, we should begin by simply committing to being courteous ourselves.  Simple courteousness will go a long way in healing our bodies, minds and souls.

Comments