Meditation and Rebirthing The Essence of My Inner Little Girl.

“Wisdom and intuition are birthed in silence…only in silence can we hear the feminine energy of our hearts…Softly, gently, lovingly allow silence to immerse you in peace.” ~Sue Patton Thoele in The Women’s Book of Soul

It’s a practice to tune out the chaos of sound, the never-ending monkey mind that keeps me from hearing my Truth. Following three weeks in a simple cabin in north Idaho supported by a healing community and welcoming the practice of silence, I feel Free. It required asking and receiving, personal responsibility and an open heart. My throat was tight and my heart ached. “What’s here for me to learn?” was the springboard I used to invite silence and dissolve these energy blocks; to open those spaces to be filled with the magic and wonder of that little girl essence that is me. She was lost. Somewhere against the wall. In the dark. Frightened. Alone.

I spent many mornings along Lake Pend Orielle. The water is a place of personal healing for as long as I can remember. As I complete my morning meditation, I journal about the essence of my inner “little girl.”

I see sparkles floating on top and within the water with light that shines up into the sky. I see sadness and darkness in her eyes. I want to see light—joy and butterflies all around her with music and chirping birds as Bluebirds circle her in delight. She feels magical inside and playful, and full of wonder and joy. There are no words; only music and chirping birds. Sometimes the leaves in the trees wave to her. She smiles and giggles, and waves back. She’s carefree—she twirls and dances and jumps in delight. You can see it in her face. You can’t take your eyes off of her as she looks like what love is. She’s wearing pink and Bluebird blue. She invites everyone to come play with her, but if they don’t, she’s still happy and content. When she sleeps it’s only to regain and refill her energy to repeat her daily way of being. She radiates like the sparkles on the water; like the light that radiates from the sparkles. It’s all magical!

The time had come for me to march against that darkness and to rise and be illuminated, to be my own lighted lamp. And then it happened.

In the silence, I felt the Light move from my hands, up my arms into my heart and in my silence said, “There she is.” I felt the warmth radiating from my heart center with overwhelming emotion, love and light, radiating and pulsating. “You are there; I’ve been looking for you.” As the light dimmed, a new vision appeared. It was my beloved. We sit face to face close to one another. But it’s the eyes. I see his light; I see him. I see his light and I know it’s a reflection of me. I cry in the beauty of it all and don’t want to take my eyes off of his. Soon my tears fill my eyes and I am present.

In my silence, my moment[s] of darkness and light, I realized my Wholeness. I now stand released from my own captivity. Silence is my medicine to rebirth. I know who I Am. I am Joy, Love and Light.

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