How I manage to meet my plans on very tiring and depressing days.

I had returned yesterday from work absolutely exhausted. Battling daily Los Angeles traffic is no joke and you can add to that bunch of other grueling stuff we go through as humans on a daily basis; whether it is ego conflicts at work or otherwise, disturbing news in media, disappointing leaders of the world, burdens of materialistic realms, physical and mental illnesses, the list of human suffering is endless. So yesterday was, to no surprise, one such another challenging day. Along with these burdens if one is suffering from depression, severe anxieties and accompanying energy crashes as I am, accomplishing plans for the day can become in particular very difficult, almost impossible.

I had promised myself in the morning that I will do full moon yoga in the night but when I got back home I had zero energy to do anything. I was not physically or mentally ready to do anything. I just wanted to lay on the couch staring at the wall. But then there was also the misery and guilt of not meeting the promise I had made to myself. Original idea was to go to the park nearby and see the full moonrise and do yoga. However my state was nowhere close to meeting this beautiful plan.

So instead I decided to push myself and create a beautiful space in my apartment, a relaxing, appealing and safe space, where I could get myself to do yoga. I laid my favorite mat gifted by a dear friend on my Persian carpet , lit some candles , placed my crystal bowl and bunch of sunflowers , and sprayed lavender mist. And voila I had a beautiful setup in front of me to do the moon salutations. I did the salutations back to back until I was sweating like a dog. By the time my one hour session ended , I was full of energy , my mind was clear , I was refreshed,  I felt free, I  was happy and I was thanking myself profoundly to have gifted myself that session. Yet again I found that a powerful response to our suffering is getting on our yoga and meditation mats, our safe sacred spaces to fall back to in our challenging lives.

On a more generic note though I try to use this formulae on a daily basis. If life’s troubles are bringing me down, blocking my ability to do things I have planned, I first try to beautify my space and make it my retreat, then ease my mind into thinking that this is a fun relaxing thing I want to do for myself, and then I take baby steps as part of that larger plan I had in mind. For example If I was planning to read a book that night and too tired to do so, I light few candles, make myself a hot cup of herbal tea , put some slow music on with low volume and open the first page of the book . I always get to the next page, and the page after I am learning something new and exciting and my mental troubles seem to be fading by then. Similarly for daily walks, I pack myself hot tea in a thermos, I wear my favorite hipster shoes, and off I go under the moon light.

I have realized small things towards relaxing myself as I get ready do that activity and even just few baby steps towards that activity naturally make me complete or at least partially complete that activity comfortably. Anyone suffering from depression and anxieties knows how difficult it can get to meet plans however with some of these changes I have been able to accomplish more than what I could do in the past .

Namaste

Vaishali Paliwal

@alaya_______ Instagram handle

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