Oatmeal now served with a dash of Roundup.

“Humankind has not woven the web of life. We are but one thread within it. Whatever we do to the web, we do to ourselves. All things are bound together. All things connect.” – Chief Seattle
~

I used to ferociously pump “he who should not be named” (aka Roundup or Voldemort) all over the yard of my first house because I was working long hours like my neighbors and that’s what we did to get rid of weeds. It has been advertised as a miracle product just like the heroine cough syrup produced by Bayer Laboratories in the 1890’s and I thought it was all gravy. Did you know that Roundup, developed by Monsanto, was recently acquired by Bayer?

 “Risk comes from not knowing what you’re doing.” – Warren Buffett

I’m now a dog walker and my furry friends and I stroll past a lot of yards. There are some days when I come home with bloodshot eyes and a headache from the fumes radiating off the lawns. I started to question and research what has become commonplace for yard maintenance. The research didn’t give me the warm and fuzzies’ and I have learned to vehemently veer away from any of those tiny plastic signs proclaiming with pride that this yard was just treated by the “Mosquito Man!” or “Lawn and Order” (names fabricated for the purpose of this story).

I found there are whole books devoted to this topic! Check out Whitewash: The Story of a Weed Killer, Cancer, and the Corruption of Science by Carey Gilliam published just in 2017. One could say, as a result, I’ve developed a bit of an aversion to using chemicals in an attempt to constrain nature.

Glyphosate is the active ingredient in Roundup and is used world-wide as a herbicide (RIP herbs). Now when I say world-wide I don’t mean third world countries where like don’t give a sh*t if there is a dandelion in their yard and they would likely make a delicious tea out of it.

Monsanto/Bayer offers genetically modified seeds resistant to glyphosate called “Roundup Ready crops”. Farmers can spray the chemical like a bottle of champagne on New Year’s Eve all over their genetically modified crops and the crops will live on while the weeds can’t stay awake to see the ball drop at midnight. How’s that for a business model?

You know how our gut health and microbiome is all the rage in wellness nowadays? Glyphosate prevents plants from making certain proteins that are needed for plant growth and targets an enzyme found in plants and microorganisms. There is current research being done on the impact of glyphosate use on a whole slew of things including, but not limited to, the decline of the honey bee population, the lingering effects of glyphosate in the soil, and human gut bacteria health.

“Some day we shall look back on this dark era of agriculture and shake our heads. How could we have ever believed that it was a good idea to grow our food with poisons?” – Jane Goodall

In a 2015 investigation by the International Agency for Research on Cancer (IARC), they labeled glyphosate as Group 2A probably carcinogenic. This is smack dab in the middle of Group 1 carcinogenic and Group 2B possibly carcinogenic. May the odds be ever in your favor. Many countries didn’t like these odds and have banned or restricted the use of the glyphosate.

In a conference call on glyphosate litigation in August of 2018, Bayer states, “Farmers and growers have been using glyphosate safely and effectively for more than 40 years.” Bayer goes on to mention all of the historical studies done supporting this claim…studies that have controversy around them. Bayer shared there are over 8,000 plaintiffs—thousands of lawsuits against Roundup from people that have developed non-Hodgkin lymphoma and other forms of cancer and claim Monsanto knowingly hid the cancer danger. It may be time to look at glyphosates with fresh eyes eh?

On August 10, 2018, the Superior Court of San Francisco found Monsanto liable in a lawsuit by a school groundskeeper that alleged the herbicides Roundup and Ranger Pro containing glyphosate caused him to develop non-Hodgkin lymphoma. Bayer’s response is, “This verdict is inconsistent with the robust science-based conclusions of regulators and health authorities worldwide, and we believe it is wrong.” Did I mention in 2017 Monsanto made over $14 billion in sales on the chemical and corresponding glyphosate resistant seeds? Ken Cook, President of the Environmental Working Group, response to the verdict was “Monsanto made Roundup the OxyContin of pesticides and now the addiction and damage they caused have come home to roost.” You gotta’ love good metaphor use.

On August 15, 2018, the Environmental Working Group (EWG) released a report finding elevated levels above what they would consider safe of glyphosate in 31 of the 45 popular breakfast foods made from oats grown in fields sprayed with the herbicide.  Now that’s a breakfast of champions. Who needs a shot of wheat grass when we can have weed killer! Oh those yummy Quaker oatmeal squares? Those had the highest levels. The levels were within regulatory limits set by the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA).

September 27, 2018, the EWG, Ben and Jerry’s, Stonyfield Farm, Nature’s Path, and other food giants petitioned the EPA to limit glyphosate residues allowed on oats and prohibit its use as a pre-harvest drying agent. Band together brothers!

Now I’m not in the big agriculture game and don’t know enough about large scale farming and feeding the masses to chime in…although I hear there’s this old school thing called “crop rotation” and ploughing that worked well for hundreds of years without chemicals, but I digress. While I don’t have a direct say in how the food is produced, I do have a choice in what food I choose to support with my dolla’ dolla’ billz’ and I choose to eat non-GMO when possible—the same kind of food my ancestors scarfed down.

I received an email from our neighborhood’s home owner association (HOA) this fall with their tips to get our lawns looking Stepford Wife status. Tip number one was, “Start in mid-August and start killing the invasive weeds. Use Roundup for Bermuda grass (2 applications, 2 weeks apart), or broadleaf weed killer for other noxious weeds.” I had visions of homeowners and golf courses all over the country receiving this same popular tip and streams of chemicals trickling down, making their way into the lake we swim in with our dogs.

We are in the suburban yard game. I can control is what I put in our own patch of grass and this year we retired our controversial Roundup chemical and took strides to try it all natural with aeration, organic mushroom compost to fertilize, grass seed, and good old fashioned weed pulling.

Is this more time intensive? Yes, but we’re ok spending a few more hours outside grounding and enjoying the fresh, chemical free air and burning calories pulling weeds and not our eyes.

Is there indubitably more clover in our yard than yards watched over by Voldemort’s dementors? Yes, but clover is f*cking adorable. How else does one search for four leaf clovers if they’ve all been wiped out by acrid chemicals? And dandelions and the “he loves me, he loves me not” game are a childhood staple, let’s bring them back in style.

Let’s not wait for all of the 8,000 plus litigation cases to pan out years from now to see the writing on the wall, or in this case the topping on our oatmeal.

Many thanks, your neighborhood dog walker and novice gardener.

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