Lost, confused, and orphaned. That’s how I felt as an only child after I lost both my parents within a period of one and a half years.

The first couple of months of grief were grueling. My friends in Seattle “let me be.” They loved me dearly but thought I needed more time and space. Many people want to be left alone when they are grieving.
My husband was there for me every minute of every day. Innately, he is an introvert, and I am an extrovert. My extroversion tends to bring out the extroverted side of him. When I was grieving, I wanted someone to initiate more conversations. There was enough of a void. I wanted an extroverted expressive loud drama queen, in other words, a clone of myself.

Being a caregiver when a loved one is grieving can be nearly as hard as grieving itself.

So, I decided to help myself and do something I love doing. Travel. With my favorite travel companion, my husband. Croatia had been calling out to me for a while. And it ended up being the catalyst that I needed to move from the sadness to the acceptance stage of grief.

A land of pink sunsets, calm waters, breathtaking views, parties under moonlit skies, secret lavender fields, stone walls and a rich history. Old style architecture with modern infrastructure.

An experience that will remain in my heart forever.

The landscape of Croatia is stunning and healing on its own, but it is the extraordinary unexpected moments shared with strangers that truly brought me back to life.

Golden Shell Restaurant in the island of Hvar. A cozy family run farm to table restaurant invited us like we were being invited into a friend’s home. The executive chef was a painter, like me, and we chatted like we had known each other for years. Her brother was a funny dude, who was fearlessly zany. And the food was delectable.

All in all, I felt a tremendous amount of love, a special connection and a sense of family.

The secret lavender fields tour with a guide and his wife was a private experience where we were taken to unchartered territory that most people don’t get to see. I connected with these 2 strangers who were showing me their land with utmost love. By the end of the day they were not tour guides, but friends.

Moving on to the college aged folks from Sweden whom I partied with. We met at a club randomly and hit it off immediately. They were about two decades younger than me, but it seemed as if we had known each other for years. They were open and had fewer barriers with respect to ‘sharing’ than most people my age.

And finally, the spectacular local Croatian food tour in the red roofed city of Dubrovnik. Yet again, the guide and the group of people we interacted with spoke to my heart.

When I think of Croatia, the one word that comes to me is “Connection”. At a time when I needed it more than ever. I felt alive and connected to myself and the world yet again.

Timeless and Priceless.

Here are three important takeaways from my experience with traveling during a time of grief and healing–

1. Strangers can help in wondrous ways

Sometimes we connect more with strangers than our near and dear ones.
Maybe due to a shared experience, a similar approach to living, or love of the same things.

We can gain insight from strangers and acquaintances from diverse backgrounds.
We may be more open to listening to strangers than our loved ones during difficult times. This could be because we may have a notion of ‘no strings attached’ when it comes to strangers. We can have one great conversation and never meet again. And that’s ok.

Being open to meeting new people and sharing ourselves with them can be very beneficial for us, when we are grieving or healing.

2. One human being cannot support us in every way

While my husband was a pillar of support in many ways, he couldn’t give me the kind of positive exuberant expression I needed when I was grieving. For some people, silence is exactly what they want when they are grieving. I was not one of them.

We need different kinds of people to get us through our period of grief. We need to figure out what kind of support we need based on our grieving style and ask for it.

3. A change can give rise to transformation

Travelling to another destination during times of grief can help us connect with the love and light that exists within us.

For me, it was Croatia. But it could be any place – maybe a place just a couple of hours away from home. But a change of scenery can give rise to a change in the state of mind.
A change of scene can spark a chord.
A change of scene can give rise to an “Aha!” moment.
A change of scene can be exactly what we need to shift our mindset.

Traveling during a time of grief can transform our minds and hearts in unexpected ways. Meeting new people from diverse backgrounds, and exposing ourselves to nature in completely new settings, can act as catalysts to move to the next step in our healing journey.

Shruthi Krishnaswamy