Some of you might think I’m over-sharing, and that’s OK. We are not meant to cross paths yet. For some of you, or even one of you- this might be the thing you need to hear today.

I know what it’s like to get up in the morning and cross the day off on the calendar before it begins. I know what it’s like to wake up in the morning and have a live-wire of anxiety in your stomach and chest and throat. I know it freezes you on the couch as you drink your coffee and think about your day. It makes you not get ready for things until you absolutely have to. It makes you late. It makes your attitude about life fearful, angry, and sad. It makes your vibration and energy low. It feels overwhelming and scary- like you’re never going to be happy or at peace.

I know what it’s like to be at a family Thanksgiving or Christmas and need to go into the bathroom and breathe or cry through what feels like you can’t get to the top of your breath. I know you feel misunderstood.

It does not mean that you don’t love your family. It does not mean that you don’t love your kids. It does not mean that you aren’t grateful for everything in your life. It just means your body is telling you something, and your life wants you to live it. All of it. Not just the times when you think you’re supposed to look happy. Not just the times when you think you’re supposed to feel proud or joyful or seem as though you are enjoying the moment.

I didn’t know as a young adult (and maybe even as a child) I struggled with anxiety and depression. I didn’t know how to name it. I want at least one of you to know that I understand.

Not to say you aren’t special, but to say- you are not alone.

The last couple of years have been a big mirror forcing us to look deeper at what is real, what is happening on the inside, and what are the outside world’s expectations of us. Does it all align?

Many of us are breathing a sigh of relief. We are ready to become who we inherently are inside. Maybe our need for radical honesty is not because of a lack of love for others- but because of it.

It might look like a change in career, or careers…a change in relationship. Or asking people to see you for who you are. Maybe it’s all of those things. Maybe to some people it looks like you’re flailing or that you don’t know what you’re doing or you’re trying too many things. Maybe they want you to fit in the world the way they want you to- because it’s more comfortable for them.

But what I see is… you are trying to find yourself. And it’s beautiful. I want you to know, you will not always feel like this.

You are not being punished. You will not always feel stuck. At some point, you will start swimming out of deeper waters and crawling to the other shore. Maybe you’ll go back there again one day to learn something more. But for now, you are exactly where you need to be at this exact time. Your friends are precisely who they need to be. Some are there through it all… others come around when you need them and leave when it’s time, and that’s OK. Accept everything as it comes and let it leave with grace.

I want you to know that you can trust yourself. You know yourself better than anyone. Don’t let anyone tell you the “shoulds” of life when you know in your body how you feel. Trust your knowing.

You are not wrong… you are not wrong.

This holiday season, I wish you peace, love, and joy.

I truly wish you peace in your body and your mind. I wish you joy in the moment when you are able to find it and know that it’s OK when you don’t.

I wish you love. Most importantly, love for yourself. Without that, it’s hard to accept or know you are worthy of it. And when people in your circle tell you they love you, ask yourself if you feel loved by them in the way you need by their words and actions. Ask them if they feel loved by you in the way they need too- do your words and actions align?

There is no rush to get through this. There will never be a perfect time in your life, just the moment you’re living right now.

Life is messy and painful and beautiful- and you are living it perfectly. ❤️