Boundaries are difficult to receive​
because we forget that we​
are a collection of parts​
​
When we hear No​
It may only be a No to​
– the offer​
– the intention​
– the situation​
​
No I don’t want more sauce​
No I don’t want to fly to Paris with you​
No I didn’t want that third dog pic after the first two that I also didn’t want.​
​
It’s not No to you as a person​
It’s not No to your history​
It’s not No to your future.​
​
It’s No to the situation rn​
​
I have a practice when saying No.​
First I say Yes to the Person.​
​
Would you like some more sauce?​
– that’s kind of you to offer, no thankyou I have enough​
​
Would you like to come to Paris with me?​
– I’m stoked you thought of me, and no thanks I’m allergic to croissants​
​
What did you think of my dog pics?​
– your dog is very large and the way you fit him in the frame was extraordinary, but please note that future dog pics are unwelcome​
​
Say Yes to the person and No to the offer.​
​
And I know you don’t have to explain your No.​
That No is a complete sentence. ​
​
But sometimes it’s a nice thing to do. ​
​
Pouring a little kindness on your boundaries goes a long way. ​