he’d recently left

a lightness descended

creativity poured 

the psychic weight of house playing lifted

i was just myself

but who was that?

on a bus trip to Dia Beacon

a friend mentioned a workshop

i knew i had more work to do

fear, step aside

challenge accepted

it was a large group

we put our intention objects in a pile on the floor

we scribbled in journals

we shared our greedy wants

we played parts for one another

one exercise had us take a posture at our core

i eased into a tightly bent and pointed pose

head hunched and low

arms wrapping

legs straining 

as i held the pose i grasped its meaning

i had been 

hiding

from what?

i knew but i didn’t

i didn’t but i did

it was the thing i would need to turn my gaze to

for better or worse