“Don’t always say always. Never say never. Usually say usually.” ~ Pat Parelli, Natural Horseman

In today’s culture that idolizes self-help and alternative therapy, healing is something we assume we should all be doing. It started decades ago with nurturing our inner children and has become a full-on calling towards consciousness.

When a friend tells us they would like to heal, we immediately trust that they are on a worthwhile path. Working on healing is good right? Well, that depends on the motivations for healing and how attached we are to the desired outcome. To assume that anything is inherently good no matter what—well, that assumption can come with it’s own problems.

Here are some of the reasons for healing that I’ve used in pursuit of the healing path and some objectives I’ve heard from others doing the same. Many of these motivations also show up in the marketing materials of healers for hire around the world:

• Healing will lead to a successful life.
• Happiness will be the result of healing.
• A better partnership will happen without our wounds in the way.
• Healing will enable us to receive more recognition.
• Healing will lead to less anxiety, fear or stress.
• The pain will go away with healing.
• Something, anything better will come from healing.

Fostering a positive expectation for the outcome, a goal, is helpful.

When the path to healing becomes more acutely painful than the dull ache of the everyday wound, we need hope. That hope can hinge on our dream of a better day.

The problem is that when the immediate suffering overwhelms us and the darkness swallows everything, our faith in the process wanes. We want proof that we are going to get what we want. We start looking for signs of success, happiness, love, etc.

To expect more abundance in the midst of despair is a desperate ploy. Imagine the abundance came and rescued you from your healing process. You would most likely abort the healing and go gladly into living in comfort regardless of if you had accomplished healing or not.

I did.

I have to admit that I’ve experienced fulfillment of my wishes before the completion of a healing process. I know the temptation to forget the pain and gravitate towards security. I took comfort and happiness over healing many times.

The new-agers would say that I was fated to continue to repeat the past until I learned the lesson; that even though I left the process I was doomed to encounter it again later.

They were right. I have found myself in the same conflict with a different person more than once. In those moments I can admit to thinking that if I could just “get it” that everything would be better. Unfortunately the desire to get it didn’t get me through.

I would have mastered healing 20 years ago if the life lessons theory proved true. I’m not sure about you, but on the most demoralizing of days, the promise of wisdom is not nearly enough to justify walking through the valley of death.

There is also secretly wishing that on the path to healing that we will find a healer that will cure us completely. The trick is that our healing depends on the work that we are willing to do. A healer can cure a woman with diabetes, but if she goes on continuing with a poor diet, the disease may return.

Instead of telling ourselves the story that we are healing, we need to be honest and admit that we are seeking a cure.

This is not a bad thing. It is a just a completely different process than healing. A cure makes the illness go away and can be invoked by others, but it may not change your life. A healing may cure the illness, must be something you participate in, and it will change your life.

So what does get us through?

• The promise of freedom from the poison of anger
• The belief in the power of love to mend all things
• An eagerness to breakthrough into a more authentic self
• A faith in a higher power

We have to move all the surface concerns out to dig to the root of our faith. I advise that healing requires a willingness to let go of our expectations.

Assuming that healing is good for the sake of healing is not enough. Wishing for worldly rewards through a process that changes your world is a faulty goal.

When we know we are not able to give up our attachment to abundance or happiness, we shouldn’t start a healing process; we should start a releasing process.

It is time to release our over-attraction to always healing and get clear about what it is we are doing. It may be perfectly appropriate right now to learn about attracting abundance, building self-esteem, or cultivating a positive attitude. There is no need to fit all of this under the category of “healing”.

In favor of healing, I can attest that to enter into a process of healing and find that we have the inner resources to make it through is life changing. In letting go of the outcome we come out into something greater than we ever could have imagined. It is an incredibly worthwhile process, but not one to take lightly simply because it’s in fashion.

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Editor: Renée Picard

Photo: Larry Lamsa at Flickr