Rich in Spirituality but Struggling in this Brutal Economy?

Yogadork: Click image for source.

1. Towels: Instead of renting a towel, save a buck by grabbing some paper towels from the rest room. If the studio has hand dryers instead of paper towels, use newspaper.

2. Free Week: Already used up your free trial week? No problem. Pretend that you just moved to town and haven’t made a commitment to a yoga studio yet. “Hi I’m Fred Schligowitz and I just moved here and I’d like to take advantage of your free trial period.” If you’ve tried that one too many times, try doing it with a fake beard.

3. Student Discount: Too old to be a student but want to take advantage of that cheaper rate? Explain that you are getting a PHD in quantum mechanics. If the front desk person needs to see a student ID, explain that matter is made up of atoms and that atoms are 98% space and 2% electrical energy and that ID cards are not really real.

4. Can’t Pay Your Rent?: By making a few subtle changes to your daily schedule, you can turn your yoga studio into the cheapest hotel in the world. Shower? Check. Toilet? Check. But what about sleep? Easy! Start with the 6 A.M. class and take full advantage of your teacher’s reminder to listen to your body and rest whenever you feel the need. Pile four yoga mats on top of one another to make a comfortable bed. By 3 o’clock, you’ll be ready for whatever the night has to offer. And remember, Kinko’s and Denny’s are open 24 hours a day.

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5. No Mat? The Universe always provides. Did you know that there are always mats from the class that just ended hanging up to dry? Oh sure, they’re a little damp, but you have paper towels/newspaper for that.

6. Free Water While In Class: When the person next to you is in twisted triangle pose, secretly reach over and take a giant swig of their purified alkalized water from that fancy stainless steel container. Take it from me, they’ll never know.

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7. Free Yoga Clothes: Lost and found is an excellent way to ‘find’ that lost pair of Lululemon pants that you thought were gone forever but that you really never
bought in the first place.

8. Networking: The next time your teacher asks you to introduce yourself to the
person next to you, don’t forget to ask them if they’re hiring at their office or country estate.

9. Share the Wealth: Take advantage of the $5 referral bounty and bring in all of your unemployed/homeless friends for a round of free yoga. They’ll enjoy the hot showers and toilets too.

10. Free Food: Did you know that teacher training can cost up to $3,000? The good news is that the fee includes free snack food like those delicious Safeway baby carrots that you love so much. Not a student teacher? No one will ever know if you walk around with a notebook and a highlighter.

Extra Credit: Act Like You Own The Joint: Walk into the studio wearing a red bandana. No one will dare to ask you for your scan card because you’ll immediately be mistaken for Baron Baptist.