“Do You Suffer from Netflix Streaming Syndrome?”
Oooohhooohhhh when this latest technological quantum-leap was foisted upon my unsuspecting, weak-kneed will, I fell prey and watched all of this and all of that and six episodes in a row of this and five minutes of that and stayed up until 4 am night after night half watching this while working on that…yes…it destroyed my life. In a fun way.
And so it was with relief that I read, today, that millions of others were struggling too.
Now, six months later, I’m over it. Like all great setting-sun joys, it gets boring soon enough and you want to watch quality stuff that you actually want to watch. Thankfully, because it’s nice to have my life back.
Six symptoms Netflix streaming is mindf**king your…well, your mind:
- Insomnia brought on by watching every episode of a compelling series in a row at the expense of getting a good night’s sleep.
- Anti-social behavior as a result of staying in and making it a “Netflix night” rather than going out in public and seeing other human beings.
- Blackouts induced by spending an entire day watching movies back-to-back.
- Pop culture knowledge that is a shade outdated and limited only to topics that are offered as part of the streaming package.
- A glut of intense information about things most people don’t care about, like the oeuvre of Meg Ryan or the subversive aspects of the first season of She-Ra: Princess of Power
- A gnawing impatience when you can’t watch what you want to watch when you want to watch it coupled with fits of rage when movies are not available for streaming and you must wait two whole days for an actual disc to arrive in a little red envelope in the mail.
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