(Boulder, CO ~ Source: EJ Breaking News)

An unidentified woman (Julie, you know her) was ticketed last night for drinking under the influence. The underage woman was at a party and avoided any hard alcohol, opting instead for Kombucha.

Her Blood Alcohol Level (BAL) was 0.06- above the drunk driving limit.

As this was her first offense, she was given a 30-day suspended license and community service- cleaning up the Goose Creek bike path.

She was drinking Kombuchu in massive quantities for its cleansing, metabolism and digestive support, as advertised on the bottles.

EJ editor’s note, we probably should have divulged this fact upfront: this is comedy, a joke, satire, a work of fiction. Except that it’s probably happened, you know, at least a few times. ~ ed.

Bonus: