Breakfast: Half of a large Kabocha or Butternut squash baked with a light coating of olive oil and sprinkled with cinnamon and something sweet.

Snack: Half-a-bag of baby carrots, dipped in roasted-red pepper hummus

Lunch: 4-cups of steamed leafy greens such as kale, spinach, collard greens, or chard. Topped with the other half-a-bag of baby carrots. Dressing of choice.

Snack: An entire cantaloupe. Make sure it isn’t from Colorado.

Dinner: Bake a one-pound sweet potato and serve with a mixed-vegetable stir-fry of broccoli, greens, red peppers and any other vegetables.

Dessert: A whole can of pumpkin! Warm it and mix with pumpkin pie spices. Who needs the crust!

Smile: You just took in 300159 IU (International Units) of Vitamin A which in plants is mostly in the form of beta-carotene before it is converted to Vitamin A by the body. This is

6003% of your daily value!

Repeat the above daily until skin starts to take on a lovely orange skin tone. Worried about other nutrient deficiencies or lack of fat or protein? Don’t! We are purely going for the physical here and besides this diet is much better for you than laying out in the sun all day long!

Photos: forladiesbyladies.com, babble.com, zeusbox.com

Note: The above is considered to be satire and should not be taken seriously!