Erotica does not glorify our sexual domination of women. It expresses our wish that women didn’t have sexual domination over us.

When we misuse our economic power over women, women legitimately react in ways we do not always like. One of those ways is to fantasize that they have achieved power over us. In the movie 9 to 5, for instance, three women laugh merrily about how they’d like to take violent revenge against their chauvinistic male boss. In the end, the trio settles for humiliating and subduing him in a dog collar and chains.

No one could reasonably say that 9 to 5 glorifies women’s domination of men in business. It is precisely because women don’t dominate men in business that the fantasy is popular with women who wish they did.

Similarly, “pornography” does not glorify our sexual domination of women. It expresses our fantasies of overcoming women’s sexual domination of us.

The fact that 9 to 5 and some of our erotica both involve people in dog collars and chains is not mere coincidence.

What’s more, some of our most popular sexual fantasies aren’t about reversing sexual control at all, but are simply about equalizing it, about meeting women who participate enthusiastically in sex, who love male sexuality, and who don’t hold out for money, dinner or furs.

Portrayals of such egalitarian sex don’t demean women any more than men are denigrated by stories of women and men working cooperatively in an office where men no longer think it is their right to have women fetch them coffee.

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Bonus:

Comedy clip. “Girls Watch Porn Too.”

(This is the third in a seven-part series over seven days, in colloboration with the Good Men Project, addressing the question: Is Porn a Good  Thing? For GMP’s most recent in the series, check out The History of Porn.)

Jack Kammer is a former Parole and Probation Agent in central Baltimore and a Correctional Officer at the Baltimore City Detention Center. He was named the 2012 Outstanding Recent Graduate at the University of Maryland School of Social Work, where he earned his MSW. He specializes in social problems arising from male gender issues.

 

 

 

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Editor: Lori Lothian

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