Top 50 Images: Bathtub Porn.

Porn, as in, Food Porn. And Coffee Porn. Or the original: Ski Porn. Even Farmers’ Market Porn. Or Bicycle Porn. Or Nature Porn. Or more Bike Commuter Porn. Any kind of porn, just not that kind of porn. What kind of blog do you think we are? We’d never post that kind of titillating stuff.

I love baths like nothing else. They relax me, they stress detox me, I’m stuck, naked in the water, unable to distract or multitask or laptop or do much of anything except…breath. Sweat. Relax my mind. In Buddhism, they say that space is what allows creativity. A bath is where we restore our problem-solving, innovative self—and where we renew our capacity to be still, and to feel joy, instead of merely searching for it.

So I’ve made a study of it. I’ve been in a few amazing baths in my time. My bath at home is an old, recycled clawfoot from a Denver Hotel that I bought offa craigslist. It’s a bit too small, the lights glare in my eyes, my bathroom looks nothing like the below…but it’s pretty damn good. And when I’m rich and even more caffeinated up and stressed out and beat down, I’ll look to baths like the below for renovation inspiration.

Key note: keep it green. Chemicals don’t clean, they kill. Recycle and reuse fixtures and lighting and use recycled tile (much of which is “brand-new,” as in my bathroom).

Okay: 50 Tubs worth lusting after:

Wood you? I wood:

 

Fire and bath? Yes, please. I could do without the cold hotelly decor, but:

 

Faucet in the middle? Perfect for two:

 

Finally, old tub? Don’t toss it…use it for graywater or…beer party…or dog-stay-cool-on-hot-summer-day-water…or kiddie pool in the backyard:

 

 

Real simple, tasteful, classic, clean:

 

I love nickel tile, or whatever it’s called: ca-lassic:

 

This looks fake. Too good to be true. Bath with huge windows and a view to kill?

 

bit too cool for school, but I love the tub: as a big man I can’t fit in most. In this I could, with a little bathtable, read the Sunday Times:

 

These bath table things are vital. I got one, via Gaiam. But you can custom make one out of any old thing:

 

I like non-cliche watery images in my bathrooms, too:

 

 

I don’t want to see the price tag on this one. I just want to take a bath in it.

 

 

A big bowl of right:

 

Manly, classic. Still, probably not big enough for a bloke over 6 foot 2:

 

Outdoors? Me wanty:

 

Plenty of room on the sides for candles, books, papers, towels, robes, sex:

 

Bathtub on wood or bamboo? Don’t learn the hard way:

 

Tiny House tub! Small but deep:

 

Stunning. If this is Bathtub Porn, I’m losing it…I need a bath…yes, yes, oh yess:

 

 

 

(PS) having a little table or ledge or surface nearby is vital to a practical tubbing. As with love and sex, it’s not just about looks—it’s about the details.

Got a view, high enough up to grant privacy? Use it:

 

This:

 

Skylights. Avoid glaring lights, get your reading or relaxing lit up by Father Sun and Mother Nature:

 

Cool colors and simplicity are best: natural wood, blue, gray, white, black:

 

This looks good (great), but there’s at least three things wrong with it. A bath is all about relaxing. We need privacy to relax. Having a big space behind one’s head: bad fengshui. Driveway in your view = subtle nervousness. Dead animal: cool looking, but go with cardboard. Wood floor? As mentioned before, welcome to warping and pricey renovation.

 

There are at least 80 things right with this:

 

90% of showers are too short for tall people. If you can, overhead or high-up is heavenly:

With lots of white and clean, color can be delightful:

 

Chandeliers + bathrooms equals win. We spend most of the time in bathtubs looking at the ceiling. That said, glaring lights will hurt the eyes.

 

Mirrors are good and can be had cheaply at your local recycle yard:

 

There we have it. Hot water in a big bowl? Pretty much the best invention ever.

For more.

And: Bathtub Yoga Therapy for Deep Relaxation. ~ Susan Atkinson

Bonus: Don’t Pour Poison Down the Drain! Get Eco.

And: Be Careful of ‘Green’ Cleaning Products. ~ Dr. Joseph Mercola