These are the Top 10 Things Not To Do or Say at Your Company’s Holiday Party:

10. Suck helium from the party balloons.

9. Double dip in the guacamole.

8. Sit on your boss’s lap.

7. Put ice in your red wine.

6. Demonstrate Mula bandha for anyone, let alone the mail room staff.

5. Bring your gerbil, even if he is “a furry ball of love.”

4. Give thrusty hugs.

3. Sit on your boss’s boss’s lap.

2. Bring an underaged date.

1. Say to someone, “You look like a young Newt Gingrich.”

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Ed: Kate B.

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