We’ve all heard the phrase “sex sells.”

And I can imagine the stereotypical thoughts that may pop into your mind when you think of that:

A highly photo-shopped, half-naked, blank-faced woman, exposed for the world to see.

Yikes!

Though some part of the ego yearns to look that way (as much as we like to deny it), we all know that it’s not real.

And anything that ain’t real ain’t worth talkin’ about.

Yet, we are still drawn to it.

“Sex is one of those impulses that comes forth from within that cannot be denied. You can squelch it and contour it and regulate it, but it’s an impulse that continues to come forth, sometimes more than others, but it continues to come forth.”

~ Esther and Jerry Hicks (Abraham)

The reality is that sex does sell, but it doesn’t have to be the kind that makes you feel like a piece of meat being thrown to the dogs.

Sex sells because it tantalizes our senses—it speaks to that part of our mind that is biological and, for the most part, out of our control.

And let’s get real, what woman hasn’t at one point in her life used ‘what her momma gave her’ to get a free drink, entrance to a VIP event, or even just some attention?

This type of behavior—along with the word sexy—has been harshly judged.

We’ve forgotten the true meaning, the true potential of being sexy, and I say it’s about time we take it back.

We are sexual beings—that’s a fact. In embracing our sexuality, we embrace our potential as visionaries and creators.

I’ve seen so many women in today’s world caught up in their masculine energy: they do, do, do, giving all of themselves with little energy left to receive.

It’s the kind of woman who has watched and mimicked men that succeed through action, determination and guts.

They strive for equality with men, but in doing so, their energy shifts to become predominantly masculine as well and takes them away from their natural feminine power.

No one is better than anyone else—we’re all equals.  If you respect yourself and demand it from others, you’ll get it.

So, the next time you see that half-naked woman, instead of looking at her with envy or disgust, look at her with intrigue.

Men aren’t truly attracted to the woman who quickly gives herself away, they are drawn to confidence, empowerment and value.

A high value woman loves herself enough to hold her boundaries, be playful and treat herself while practicing extreme self-care.

This woman knows how to be gentle, yet direct, nurturing, yet discerning, and above all, she knows how to communicate her desires.

She’s the kind of woman who knows what she wants and knows how to get it with confidence.

Now that’s sexy.

One thing I’ve noticed as a photographer working with driven, successful female entrepreneurs is that the more powerful they are, the more they allow their sexy, feminine selves to shine in photographs, on stage, and in everyday life.

I’ve heard from many women who don’t want to appear hyper sexualized in their photos, as they don’t want to “attract the wrong audience.”

I get that.

But in hiding our sexual energy, we snuff out our potential to radiate what makes us truly unique.

This doesn’t mean you have to wear a super tight dress, show the ta-tas and stick out the booty. (But embrace it if that feels good for you!)

It means you know and show what it means for you to be a woman.

Perhaps it’s the slight tilt of you head, or dancing your finger across your collarbone. Perhaps it’s the way you stand with heart open and curves flaunting.

Your true feminine energy will turn you into a rockin’ sexual goddess, while celebrating the woman that you are.

So the next time you’re in front of a client, your lover, or the camera, this is what I want your body, mind and heart to be singing:

I’m sexy and I know it.

(Let’s not be bashful here!)

Heather Pennell combines photographic branding, transformational coaching and intuition to elevate conscious entrepreneurs. Her unique process shows biz savvy professionals how to embody confidence and success in front of the lens, their clients and the world. Check out Heather’s work by visiting www.fieldsofheather.ca.

Like elephant journal on facebook.

Ed: Lynn Hasselberger