September 5, 2013

What’s on Your Chuck-it List?

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0 Boost Score Amy Cushing (4,300)

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Everyone seems to have a bucket list these days.

I have my own too, but it’s limited to few special goals. With a family who needs my attention, it’s unlikely I’ll be hiking Machu Picchu anytime soon, so I try to keep my bucket list a bit more on the realistic side…for now.

There’s no telling what will be added once the empty nest beckons.

But I do have, what I call, a chuck-it list—for things I have no interest in. Some I’ve tried and learned better, while others I just don’t care to do. After all, life is meant to be spent doing what you love, not what you don’t.

For me, I’ve drawn a line in the sand and will not partake in the following:

1. Go spelunking.

Any recreational sport that requires hardhats, headlamps and techniques referred to a “squeezing” doesn’t sound all that leisurely to me. I’ll stick with hiking above ground.

2. Drive a minivan.

Nothing kills your mojo faster than driving a mini school bus. Unless you have several kids, in which case sex appeal seems to be the least of your worries.

3. Eat calamari.

I know there are people who love this stuff, but I’d rather steer clear of any “food” that, when cooked, smells like last week’s trash left out in the hot sun during a heat wave.

4. Take another Bikram yoga class.

Between the dreadful heat, the drill sergeant instructors and its misogynistic guru, I think I’ll pass.

5. Say, “I can’t wait to go to the Robin Thicke concert!”

Is an explanation really necessary?

6. Watch Fox News.

I’m not opposed to a conservative perspective, I simply prefer reporting that is accurate and honest.

7. Enjoy the smell of patchouli.

My olfactory senses can only handle so much offense. There’s a reason the scent is often used as an insect repellent, even bugs don’t like the smell of musty feet.

8. Be a scrapbooker.

I have two kids who constantly vie for my attention. Just being able to use the restroom in privacy is a treat. (Did I just say treat when describing the toilet? Hmmm.) I’m convinced scrapbookers never sleep. I, on the other hand, prefer sleep.

9. Be a morning person.

I never have, never will, be someone who looks forward to waking up at five a.m. I much prefer to hang out with the owls.

10. Care to understand the intricacies of tax preparation.

There are many things I have a desire to learn. However, understanding the United States tax code is not one of them. Besides, I have a great tax guy (a.k.a. the hubby).

11. Join the CrossFit craze.

I like my knees, shoulders, neck and back in one piece, thank you. And nothing about flipping a 50-pound tire is appealing to me.

12. State a political affiliation.

Life is too short to sit on one side of the fence arguing until you’re blue in the face. The older you get, the more you realize that the answer (and often the truth) lies in the middle. You know that gray area? It’s a beautiful place that gives you the opportunity to exercise compassion and understand, sometimes, there is no perfect answer.

13. Buy an expensive purse.

I realize my lack of fashion sense will be glaring with this statement, but most purses look the same to me. I’d rather spend a weekend at the beach, have an amazing dinner with my husband or plan an over-the-top play date with my kids than buy a designer purse that will promptly be ruined when one of my littles knocks over their cup of juice.

14. Drink wheat grass.

I’ve done it, and have always regretted the burpage that follows. I will never crave anything green or grassy in my shot glass, unless I return as a cow in my next life.

15. Never stop buying books in hard copy.

I always have the environment foremost in my mind when making purchases and e-readers are great eco-friendly devices. But, there’s a certain joy that unfolds when you crease a page’s corner that harbors an amazing piece of writing. It’s saved, like a hope chest, for you to relish again and again. That tactile experience cannot be duplicated electronically. I’m not ready to part with it just yet.