“The desire of the man is for the woman, but the desire of the woman is for the desire of the man.” ~ Madame de Stael quotes

 Desire is a slippery fish.

We cannot touch it and yet is ravishes us. Desire makes need seem bland. Need is responsible. Need speaks clearly. Needs must always be met.

Desire sizzles in our loins and dances in our heart. Desire lights a fire inside and brings passion to our tongues. Desire loves desire and lives beyond reason.

In heterosexual relationships the man desires the woman and will often do whatever it  takes, especially when the man is still more of a boy.

A woman, on the other hand, wants to be desired often and feeds her passion in feeling the desire of a man. This dynamic brings her desire to life.

Is this sexist? Or is this the way of men and women?

I believe in equal rights. I also know as a woman I don’t want to be treated like one of the guys. I like to look my best. I like to be noticed by men, especially when there is already a foundation to make my love come alive. And I like to feel sexy.

I have an ongoing conversation with one of my friends who believes men and women aren’t wired differently. After teaching small children I learned by watching them and working with them that the energy of boys is so different than that of girls.

Men and women, boys and girls, we are different; our hormones are different. Our needs are different.

Now I like a good roll in the hay as much as the next person and like any good alcoholic, have had my share of one night stands. But I did not get a lot out of them. I crave the connection, the emotional and energetic connection.

The act of sex is easy.

Making love is not. Making love asks me to be completely open and vulnerable and present in all ways. Making love asks me to reveal how I am and who I am. The act of sex is easy. Dogs have shown us that.

So my desire lives in being desired. This quote rang true for me. And though I enjoy sex it is actually making love that draws me into someone’s arms.

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Editor: Rachel Nussbaum

Photo: elephant Journal Archives