{warning—strong language ahead}

I have made a great many mistakes.

Oh boy, have I fucked up.

I have hurt people. I have broken hearts. I have been selfish, and petty and small.

I have never done it intentionally.

I was a bad sister. I have been a bad daughter, in many ways. A bad friend, a poor girlfriend, a mediocre student.

Thoughtless, careless and reckless, with my heart, body and mind, and with the hearts, bodies and minds of many others.

But in the past few years, particularly in the past several months, I have been making a concentrated effort to be care-ful. Thought-ful. Reck-ful? (word?)

And today, I am wondering,

Who is the greater sinner?

Those who act without thinking through, or those who act despite thinking through?

I throw a brick through a window, without considering the damages and consequences.

I throw a brick through a window, after considering the damages and consequences.

I am sitting, and thinking and wondering.

The window is still broken.

The damage is still done.

But the consideration. The mindfulness. Where does that measure into the importance of the action?

~

Love elephant and want to go steady?

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Editor: Rachel Nussbaum

Photos: Zanetti/Pixoto, Chau/Pixoto