Warning: plenty of F-bombs up ahead.

Soul Fucking is not your parent’s intercourse.

Nor is it your everyday run of the mill shag. It’s also not a hemped up, hit that, horizontal, home run hump either. Soul Fucking is a rare, elusive and undeniably spiritual event and it’s the most powerful type of fucking we can ever experience.

Why? Because it penetrates, permeates and elevates us to new heights of feeling and intensity that everyday lovemaking can’t hold a candle to.

It’s the heroin of fucking and once we taste it, we will crave it like junkies, again and again.

According to Urban Dictionary, the definition of a soul fuck is: “when you look into someone’s eyes, and you are so connected with that person that it feels like your souls are making love.”

Uh, sorry but no, this doesn’t even scratch a left testicle compared to what I am talking about, so let me explain.

Just like Tantric sex, this deeply interconnected practice transforms and elevates us in a way that goes so beyond the feeling of orgasm, so beyond the feeling of typical coupling, so beyond the feeling of love as we know it, that it becomes a total out of body, transcendent experience.

It’s fusion, alchemy and liberation all at the same time; a merging of Shiva and Shakti, a total dissolving of individual self that cuts right through bullshit and delusion. It validates our existence on this earth in a way that no other experience can or ever will.

It knows no limits or boundaries and really defies description.

Words simply do not suffice here. It will rock our world well beyond what we typically feel as blissful and heavenly in an everyday orgasm. In fact, the entire experience of it is one long, unending climax with orgasm and ejaculation not necessarily an end result or even a goal.

This is not recreational sex, but rather another tool (albeit an extremely fun and powerful tool) on the path of personal development and spiritual evolution. It is a conscious choice we make and a practice defined by the absence of fear and shame.

To engage in this practice we must be willing to expose our beautiful raw selves to each other with all the faith and trust of an infant. In partaking in this practice, we commit to revealing our inner world in a way that is exquisitely uncomfortable and divinely intoxicating. This type of immersion facilitates a way to reach “The Space Between” (thank you my beloved Dave Matthews) and to call upon the “Bliss of the Womb.”

An interesting thing about this spiritual practice is that it doesn’t necessarily have to be with a long-term committed soul mate (although that is a bonus). We might very well experience it with an enlightened partner that visits us briefly in life, opens us up in brand new ways and then leaves; another type of soul mate if you will.

Or, it may very well be with the person we’ve fully committed to and who decides to open and awaken with us, the one, who chooses to move within and through us in a simultaneous dance of four-body connection. This type of soul mate hangs around to experience and further develop this connection in and out of the bedroom.

This relationship is much more profound; this is the “Soul Fucker” I seek.

Have you had it? You would know. It stands apart and is unforgettable.

I’ve tasted it, briefly; been on the cusp of it. I’ve felt its intoxicating wonders scorch through my veins before orgasm explodes and redirects. I’ve experienced how self-talk shuts down when we allow it to, but it’s been fleeting.

To get there takes commitment, discipline, plus a sense of wild, fearless abandon. It also takes a shitload of courage. We are stripping down to our truly naked essence and this is why it’s so rare and elusive. We bring so much pain, shame, confusion and fear from the past with us into our beds; often we are not even aware of half of it.

But it’s there, lurking, waiting for an opportunity to unleash itself.

This is why it’s not for the faint of heart or mind. It’s a huge leap of faith and most of us don’t have the balls to be truly “seen” in this way. But if we get a taste of it, even just a nibble as I’ve had, then that is extremely encouraging and motivating. It is proof.

Remember, it’s a practice and even after we start to experience it, it’s likely not going to happen with every sexual encounter we have—that would be incredibly and amazingly exhausting.

If we work towards total honesty and authentic vulnerability with ourselves and with our partners then we will be on our way towards awakening into the space we need to occupy for Soul Fucking to flourish.

And this “space between” serves us well in all areas of our life, far beyond the bedroom.

Read Soul F***ing: A How-To. 

Relephant: 

The Unique Power of Deeply Intimate Sex 

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Apprentice Editor:  Yaisa Nio / Editor: Renée Picard

Photos: Flickr / Rob Boudon; Flickr / Andrew Buckie