Warning: F-bombs ahead!

I do not want to be kind

fuck kind
kind can yudu na hooey
I want to be inconsolable
irrational
throw some expensive stuff
make some noise
stomp some toes
split some wigs
yell obscenities

I want to laugh nervously
and loudly
like the villain-ess
in the movies
then catch your
discomfort and fear in my hand
as it comes flying off you
take a bite
smear it back in your face
while I laugh some more

no apologies
not even in my head
no whatifIgetintroubleforthis’s
allowed

I want to rip the band-aid
off your
dirtystinkingfestering
complacency
and lick it
before flinging it at
some innocent
and surprised
horrified
passers-by

I want to snarl
with feral eyes
and snap my teeth
bite
the hand that tries
to feed me
tame me
I won’t be tamed
domesticated
yoked

I do not want to be kind
forgiving

I will raise
conjure
the dead
as my companions
wear them as my cloak
they will swirl around and ahead of me
a warning cloud of regret
and sadness
a harbinger
clearing the way
scattering
leaves
souls
bodies
in my path

I will sit right down
into my
vicious
close to the bone
naked
wild-haired
sacred
dysfunctional
karma-scarred
magical
ugly
feral
beautiful

Self

and discuss important things
with the elements

“Of shoes–and ships–and sealing-wax–
Of cabbages–and kings–
And why the sea is boiling hot–
And whether pigs have wings.”

command the tempest
summon Gaia
no one will dare
approach us uninvited
watching from behind hidden
distance
hoping I don’t notice
them

I do not want to be kind

I want to lap
up your fear
your lust
your slick arrogance
your greed
the distrust I can feel in you
and swallow it down
nourished
and sustained
replete
then I want to shit it out
and feed it back to you

I want to stretch
so tall
and broad
as to darken the Earth
in my rage
my discomfort
my dis-ease
rain
pelt
down my regrets
into your hair
tributaries to your tears
the lightening splitting
me open
to you

I want to bash
against the door
of your hate
your intolerance
your indifference
your fear
so endlessly
and mercilessly
that you are forced to finally
expose yourself to me
until you have
to answer and come out
to be accounted for

to face me
to look into my eyes

I do not want to be kind

Love elephant and want to go steady?

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Apprentice Editor: Edith Lazenby/Editor: Emily Bartran

Photo: Author’s Own