Glorious, unattainable,

bird of paradise,
always present inside.
Deep within, you exist,
only to sculpt my emotions
into magnificent crystal palaces
where I can touch the sun,
or the dark solitary corridors of Hades
where all hope dies and Nothing reigns.

You have been my faithful companion
when my humanity was alive.
You have carried me in your wings
so that I could fly higher than the pain.
You closed my eyes
so that I could really see
what is Life and Love.
You helped me reach
heaven with your violin.

But then you let me fall
into the pit of humanity.
You make me crawl
inside my impossible dreams.
You feed me memories
of all my losses against my will.
Every time I try to escape,
your chorus pulls me back
to my mistakes.
To loss.
To grief.
My hands are strapped
with your guitar cords
and you keep singing
while I bleed.
I beg you to free me,
but you persist
and your song
keeps crashing furiously
on the shores of my soul.
My heart hurts being squeezed
inside your marbled fist.

When I listen to you
I go through the mirror
and I end up losing myself
like a drop of blood in the ocean.
Then after you have killed me
a hundred times over
you give me another breath of life.
You kiss me on the lips
and healing begins.
I can feel the soft wings
as we fly together
towards sunrise
while you show me
how to cry of joy
and not from pain
anymore.

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Apprentice Editor: Jamie Khoo/Editor: Catherine Monkman

Photo: Rures/Flickr Creative Commons