I don’t want your hurt anymore

I don’t want your pain
I don’t want your verbal and mental abuse
I don’t want your filthy secrets
I don’t want to be your dirty mistake
I don’t want your depression
I don’t want your lack of drive
I don’t want your past
I don’t want your future
I don’t want your present
Simply, I no longer want for you…

One in every four women will experience some form of abuse in their lifetime (men too for that matter). Unfortunately, most of it is brought on by a woman’s significant other. This can be verbal, psychical or sexual abuse. Most women never report this kind of violence because they feel a loyalty to their significant other and do not want to upset them further, because they will again be “punished” for their actions.

How sickening is that? Being “punished” as though they are less superior to their partner.

Unfortunately, this is how the mind of an abusive partner works. They can get upset with you for the littlest things. Not making enough dinner, not making the bed, sleeping too late, talking to someone they do not like, telling the truth, when of course, you should have lied. Every little thing that goes wrong, well honey—it’s your fault. The abuser cannot take any responsibility for their own actions and you must carry all of their faults as well as any of your own.

It is a tiring and draining life.

It feels as though it ages you. It takes years from your spirit. It diminishes any amount of self-esteem you may have and leaves you questioning why and how could anyone ever love you, you f*ck up!

This is the abuser’s goal. To break you down sooooooo much that the only way you can be whole, is through them. Because they are the only one that could ever love you and your stupid mind, the only one that can stand to be around you and your childish nature, they are the only one that can make you “whole again.” They want you to only want them.

They will break you down as a form of projection. Every single thing they hate about you, is something they hate about themselves. They don’t really hate your childish nature—they hate their own naivety. They don’t really hate your need for love—they hate their need for love that they can never satiate.

Sometimes the verbal abuse turns to sexual or physical abuse. Leaving you not only broken hearted and spirited, but physically black and blue. You must try and mend the pieces together of your heart and your face.

If you are experiencing any form of abuse from your significant other, or know of someone that is, let them know that there is an end to it all and it’s not six feet under the ground. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. And I can tell you that there are rainbows, butterflies, birds singing and people dancing.

The first step you can make is to know that you are worthy of pure love! With no constraints, no “I’ll love you if,” no “buts,” and no pain. There are plenty of people in this world that are wanting to love someone like you—let them! We are all worthy of a life filled with love and appreciation.

Cut ties from the abuse that binds your soul to pain and heartbreak. It does not serve you! Fly free like a bird! Alias volat propriis! (She flies with her own wings.) Fly my love! Fly far far far from that pain and turmoil and never look back!

Sit in silence and mediate on your own words, your own heart! Don’t be persuaded to do anything that anyone else tells you. Find your own voice and follow it. You’ve spent far too long being a pawn to someone else’s chess game.

Don’t look in the rearview mirror as you go. You will find yourself turning around from time to time because that was all you knew and what was familiar. Embrace the change with its ups and downs. When you are whole again, then you can look back and see how far you have come and what you will never allow to happen to yourself again.

Learn to love you before you allow yourself to love another. Know that you are amazing, beautiful, smart, and a gift to this world. Only give this gift to someone who is worthy.

Share your knowledge and experience with others to help prevent the cycle of abuse. It is our duty to protect those we love.

I love you.

You are bruised not broken.

You can still fly.

Love elephant and want to go steady?

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Editor: Travis May
Photo: Author’s own