I recently wrote about some discoveries I’ve made about the law of attraction, the way we can manifest our own destiny, even unintentionally, and the power generated by our thoughts and emotions.

To be perfectly honest, just a few short years ago I thought that was total and complete bullshit.

True story.

Now that I have finally: a) removed my blinders and ditched my narrow-minded scarcity mentality view of the world, b) eaten mass quantities of humble pie, and c) (mostly) put my ego in check, I realize the complete and undeniable truth in the very basic premise of reciprocity.

We get what we put out there. Karma. It’s a real thing.

Good energy begets satisfaction. Positive, optimistic and resilient habits, attitudes and beliefs create a living space full of love, kindness and gratification.

Likewise, negative energy offers not only a jaundiced view of the world, it brings about a life that otherwise opposes, interferes or infringes upon our general happiness and wellbeing.

What you send out, you get back, so be careful what you wish for. Like, really careful.

The thoughts you have create a signal, a vibration, an electrical charge, an intention, if you will, that registers with your entire system; they are the headquarters of your soul, the face that the universe really sees. The feelings associated with those thoughts are how you thereby project and rebound those thoughts out to the quantum field, telling the universe  (or the divine) what you really want, what you are prepared to receive, what you believe yourself worthy of having in your life.

That means, that if you really think about it, the only person standing in your way of progress, is um, you. That space between your own two ears, actually, is the most critical space in your life. I repeat.

The. Most. Critical.

Regardless of what you say to others, irrespective of what you do when someone is watching, or heedless of how you choose to show up everyday—what you say to yourself on the inside, your internal dialogue, the commentary running through your mind all day, every day, is actually ruling your world.

Yes. That means you are responsible for your reality. You just might be preventing yourself from having what you really want.

Consider yourself a pretty positive person? Feel like you’ve got it mostly together, have a good grip on your reality and your life? Me too, most days.

And then suddenly, I realize that um, maybe I don’t. Maybe, there are a few key things I’m still doing that are preventing me from reaching a greater potential. Possibly, there is room for even more joy in my life, even more happiness, even more marvel.  It appears to me now, that the possibility of sharing a blissful life with others exists in an even greater capacity than ever before.

When faced with a choice, any choice, we have the option to view it from the standpoint of a participant, or a recipient. Fight or flight. Risk injury, or run and hide. Lizard brain behavior.

The repercussions of this thought pattern are as simple as this:

“I wish I had_____” = “I don’t have_____” = “I can’t have_____ ” = “I won’t have____.”

Pretty sure this isn’t you? Think you have all your positive thought patterns dialed in tightly? Confident your grass is exactly the same shade of green as your neighbors? Or, even better, you’ve gone native and have wild plants growing organically in your front yard instead of grass?

Congratulations on reaching your level of enlightenment. Awesome. Go you.

However, still, maybe just check this out anyway. It might not blow your mind like it did mine, but um, then again, maybe it will.

Here are five ways that we unintentionally say ‘no’ to the universe:

1. Fear Based Action/Inaction

Your purpose and intention in any action shine through, no matter your efforts to mask them. Avoiding things because of fear (of failure, of judgement, of not being, doing, or having “enough,”) projects out exactly that; fear. You will manifest your biggest anxieties if you continue to feed them.

Stimulus-response behavior is fear based, and the little brother of fear? Doubt.

Your inner voice, does it carry an undertone of disbelief? Do you fundamentally believe you won’t succeed or can’t have it?

Stop. Move forward with confidence.

It’s already yours.

2. Financial Stress

If you are operating from such a place of frugality, or again, fear, regarding your money, you are essentially emitting a signal of inadequacy. Of scarcity.

Exactly the opposite of abundance.

Every time you say “I can’t afford that,” the universe hears “can’t.” Every time you say “I don’t have enough money,” the universe hears “don’t.”

If instead you fill your heart and mind with thoughts of plenty, then plenty is what you shall receive.

3. Time

This is huge for me. Huge.

Consider this: if you continue to say to yourself “I don’t have enough time,” “I have too much to do and not enough resources to do it,” or “I can’t get this all done,” you are setting yourself up for failure from the starting gate.

Stop framing your time in a way that is limiting.

Focus on what you do have, not what you don’t. What you have done, not what you haven’t. What you are capable of doing, not what you’re not. Of the time you do have, not that you don’t. Be fully present in each moment. You can’t make more hours in the day but I’ll be damned if you can’t make more of the hours you do have.

4. Love

Are you telling yourself you can’t have it? You don’t deserve it? You don’t have time, room, energy, or whatever excuse you’ve offered yourself lately? You don’t “need”anyone to complete you?

Guess what?

• You’re right, you don’t need anyone to complete you, but you also aren’t designed to live alone. Love is all around you, open up your eyes, and your hands. If you keep clenching “no” you won’t have any space to carry “yes.”
• Everything is impermanent. There are no guarantees, period. Life simply does not exist without pain. However;
• It (life) also comes around just this one time,  don’t sit this one out.

5. Validation and Acceptance

Let’s be honest, nobody likes losing. Nobody. Ditto to being chosen last.

How comfortable are you with being second place? Can you stand comfortably and lean into the side of the podium? Really? Or do you actually stand there wishing it was you up there with the certificate / trophy / award / documentation of personal “success.”

Why do you do half of what you do? Is it for you, or is it because deep down you want the approval of others?

Thought so.

Here’s the deal:

• You are enough. You are the winner in your life. And you don’t need anything to prove that. There is no first place here, there is simply your best, and only you get to decide if when and if you’re putting it forward.
• However, remember that you are your own worst critic. This news coming from the queen of self-evaluation herself, by the way, and my normal given grade? B+. I’m just . . . never.quite.good.enough.
• Except that I am. Except that is. Except that when I give my best I know it. And when I do, it just gets better. And better. And better.

I invite you to start saying “yes” to the universe.

Break up with old habits, attitudes and beliefs that aren’t serving you and to emit new signals, new forces, and new vibrations.

Change your mind, change your world.

Bonus!

Love elephant and want to go steady?

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Editor: Renée Picard

Photo: Beth Solano/Unsplash