Most couples think of a physical relationship only in terms of sex.

However, another wonderfully intense way to be physically intimate with our partner is through massage. Massage allows us to pay close attention to our lover’s entire body with no time limits or expectations toward progressing toward sex.

When we make love, oftentimes the focus of our attention is the “goal” of orgasm. Naturally, our attentions turn to the genitals as a result. With mutual massage, the pressure to perform and the goal-oriented path are both alleviated.

Massage is also a fantastic alternative for couples abstaining from sex for health or personal reasons.

Massage opens up energy channels in the body, allowing natural vitality to flow more freely though the body. It can be relaxing or invigorating, depending on the pressure and speed chosen, as well as the types of oils or lotions used.

Most importantly, massage brings us closer to our mate. Silent touching brings a whole new mode of communication to our relationship. The best part is, couples can use massage when their relationship is thriving, but also when things are not going as well—it’s a perfect way to heal emotional rifts.

Tools of the Trade

To give couple’s massage the full treatment, the following items are needed:

Flat sheet

Hand Towel

Bath Towel

Oil or lotion

Drinking water

Place the flat sheet on the bed in order to protect the sheets from massage oils or lotions. The hand towel is also convenient for wiping excess oil from our hands.

Use the bath towel is also handy for covering our lover’s lower half for the beginning of the massage.

This is more for warmth than for modesty. It’s important that the person receiving the massage never gets cold, as this will counteract the soothing effects of the massage.

Choose a lotion or oil appropriate to mood and personal taste (see my tip on massage oils below).

After any massage, it’s a good idea for the receiving partner to drink at least one glass of room temperature water. This helps to flush out toxins that have been worked out during the massage.

Of course, a more sensual massage can include dressing up the room a bit with candles, flowers, incense or soothing music. These are optional.

All that really matters is the physical connection between us and our partner.

A Few Lube Tips

What oils or lotions are right for massage?

Oils

Massage oils come in many varieties, from unscented to a wide range of floral, woody and citrus scents. What oil we choose depends on our taste as a couple.

Personally, my weary bod prefers anything with Arnica in it. (Arnica is a homeopathic remedy derived from the flower Arnica montana). It’s my go-to salve for soreness, inflammation, bruising and general muscular ennui.

My partner lucked out in finding an amazing Arnica-based massage oil at our local health food store. Local shops are a good place to start searching.

There are also edible oils on the market, specifically designed for sensual massage (to lick off our lover’s body). Be careful with these, as some people have allergic reactions to them. Test the oil first, both on each other’s skin and on the tongue.

Some oils cannot be used in conjunction with latex products, so keep this in mind.

Lotions

These are a great alternative if we don’t want to deal with the stains oils can make. Additionally, lotions don’t cause skin breakouts the way oils can, particularly if our skin is oily to begin with.

Like oils, lotions are not to be used with latex products such as condoms and sex toys, as they break them down.

#1 Tip for Massages with Lubrication

Regardless of our preference, get the maximum benefit from the massage lubrication by pouring a small amount of oil or lotion into the palm and rubbing the hands together before touching our lover’s body.

By doing this, we warm up the oil/lotion for a nicer tactile experience and prepare our hands for smooth gliding.

Happy touching!

Part 1 of 2

Part 2: The Art of Erotic Massage

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Author: Rachel Astarte

Editor: Ashleigh Hitchcock

Photo: courtesy of the author