The way we feel, the way we move, the way we act in the bedroom is deeply personal. There is a self-expression and release that sex allows for that is unlike anything else!

But have you considered a unique or special style of sex when you are trying to get pregnant? Yeah, ponder that for a second.

In conceiving, you literally offer a part of yourself to become one with a part of your partner, and, in that oneness, you invite a new soul into the womb. Your energy during sex prior to conception charges the environment when this soul becomes a part of the world—a very auspicious time. Ayurveda tells us that this very moment directly impacts the baby’s prakriti (or its physical, mental, and spiritual personality). [1]

Pretty deep, huh?

So, it is a very special occasion—a ceremony, really. And Ayurveda treats it just as that. In that spirit, the classics give some guidance and advice for sex for the purpose of becoming pregnant.

Even with such guidance, sex still is very personal. It is still your expression. Be certain to keep it that way and not get caught up in the specifics about the advice. It is just that—advice. Not rules.

1. Set your intention.

Spend the days before your fertile window sitting with your partner and envision your future child. Ask for love and strength to unify in mind and heart, so that you may selflessly serve the coming soul together. [2]

2. Lose the self-consciousness! Seriously.

Dress in your favorite boxers or lingerie (… or just your birthday suit), and splash on some of your favorite fragrance—whatever makes you feel damn good about yourself!

See how you feel wearing white clothing and flowers—white is the color of the moon and soma (the nectar of youth) and is often worn to instill a sense of purity and fertility .[3]

3. Create an atmosphere that makes you feel serene and loved.

Play melodious music that you can completely lose yourself to, light incense, or burn some candles. Use your favorite aromatherapy. See if you like rose and jasmine—these scents awaken your anahata (heart) and swadhisthana (reproductive) chakras, respectively.

Is your pelvis feelin’ the flow yet?

4. Put the S & M gear away.

You want this moment to be about inviting a new soul into your life—a relationship filled with mutual respect and love! [4]

5. Use loving and nourishing practices for foreplay.

Consider sweet and intimate massages, gentle kisses and soft touches. Feel deliciously loved and generously loving—that energy will invoke the same in your partner and certainly transfer to your child.

6. Find a rhythm that both of you are in sync with.

A child is a product of your union with your partner, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Intensify your union through your eyes, to your minds, your thoughts, your breath and your movement.

7. Be very present.

Make it a meditation. Bring awareness to the pauses between each breath and every movement. Remember to treat this as a ceremony and use each pause to reconnect with the vision of your future child. Charge the atmosphere with this vision, shaping your child’s prakriti.

Afterwards, take a moment to relish in your unified act of love, joy, and surrendering. And then…

8. Get juicy again!

Ojas is your life-giving force (a by-product of your reproductive tissues) and is the necessary essence to conceive and sustain a pregnancy. Whether you get pregnant or not, your body releases some ojas during sex. [5] Replenish after sex with a glass of warm milk that has been boiled with sucanat (whole cane sugar) and a pinch of cardamom, sliced almonds and saffron. These ingredients have a particular affinity and are deeply nourishing to the reproductive organs and ojas. [6]

9. If you do not become pregnant during the fertile window of this month, don’t worry!

Rebuild ojas for next month by limiting sex until the next fertile window, especially if you have any weaknesses or you have a frail constitution or body type (signs that you have low ojas to begin with). [7] It also helps the male partner rebuild his sperm reserves and gives those little guys time to mature, optimizing your chances next month.

10. Lastly, surrender to the process!

Fertility is so loaded with expectations and ideals. Fear and control bring constriction (energetically and physically) to your heart and reproductive channels. [8] Have faith that the soul will come when both you and the soul are ready.

For a thorough Ayurvedic look at the profound importance of the preconception period and each step of its preparation (which occurs well before this final step of conceiving), check out the Preparing for Pregnancy Guide that I have written!

References:

[1] Vasant D Lad. Textbook of Ayurveda: Volume 1 (Albuquerque, NM: The Ayurvedic Press, 2001), 36-7.

[2] Godagama S, Hodgkinson L. The Handbook of Ayurveda: India’s Medical wisdom Explained. (North Atlantic Books; 2004), pg 87

[3] Vasant D Lad. Textbook of Ayurveda: Volume 3 (Albuquerque, NM: The Ayurvedic Press, 2012), 268

[4] Sirisha Karamchedu, “Women’s Infertility- An Ayurvedic Perspective:Research Paper Submission as part of Clinical Ayurvedic theory Certification, March 23, 2013,” accessed April 21, 2015, http://www.ayurvedacollege.com/sites/ayurvedacollege.com/files/articles/Women’s-Infertility-SirishaKaramchedu.pdf.

[5] Sharma R and Dash B, Caraka Samhita, Sutrasthana (Varanasi, India: Chowkhamba Sanskrit Series Office, 2014), vol. 1, chap. 30, vv. 9-11.

[6] Sharma R and Dash B, Caraka Samhita, Cikitsasthanam (Varanasi, India: Chowkhamba Sanskrit Series Office, 2014), vol. 2, chap. 2, vv. 36-45.

[7] Vasant D. Lad, Textbook of Ayurveda: A Complete Guide to Clinical Assessment, Volume 2 (Albuquerque, NM: The Ayurvedic Press, 2006), 287.

[8] Sharma R and Dash B, Caraka Samhita, Chikitsasthanam (Varanasi, India: Chowkhamba Sanskrit Series Office, 2014), vol. 2, chap. 1, v. 3.

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Relephant Read: 

10 Things I Wish I Could Have Told My Pregnant Self.

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Author: Vrinda Devani

Editor: Travis May

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