I sparked a mini Facebook war this morning. And it reminded me how vital it is to call a spade a spade.

I posted this on my personal page:

Well, didn’t that just press some buttons.

A man (who’s never commented on my page before) felt moved to impress upon me his vehement views against this post. For a time, I enjoyed this differing point of view. But there came a moment where I tired of the lecture and realised: this man was attempting to educate me.

Repeating phrases like, “speaking from experience,” “the wrong approach,” “ your ego,” “selling out,” “you this” and “you that,” he pressed forward his point.

I replied with smiles and love hearts and gratitude for his connection, but he wasn’t done with me. He felt I had more to learn.

This, my friends, is education.

When I called this out, naturally this man disagreed. Then educated me some more for good measure.

It reminded me of a movie I once saw where a man was telling a woman something kinda obvious. She looked him in the face, and with a powerful confidence said, “Thank you so much for educating me, young man.”

It also made me think: How often am I receiving subtle unwelcome education? How often am I personally submitting to this uninvited, forceful life schooling?

My sense is, far too often. So I’ll make this easy.

I do not need to agree with you, for us to harmoniously co-exist.

I do not need to believe you, simply because you are “speaking from experience.”

I do not need to apologize, because you don’t understand my meaning.

I do not need to zip my mouth, because yours is bigger or more practiced.

I do not need to compete for speaking space (ever).

I do not need to read from the same book, just because it changed your life.

I do not need to choose the same path, even if it works for you.

I do not need to roll over and play dead until things blow over.

I do not need to edit myself for your comfort.

I am free to be changeable in my views.

I am free to share them with passion and integrity.

I am free to remain open and whole in the face of criticism.

I am free to say no (or yes)—or indeed, nothing at all.

I am free to expand, contract and explode, whenever and wherever.

I am free to respond with love, even when it is not returned.

I am free to enjoy our endless differences and similarities.

I am free to dissolve my self-judgement.

I am free to speak.

As are you.

Relephant:

What it Means to be an Empowered Woman.

~

Author: Crystal Davis

Editor: Travis May

Photo: Author’s Own