In the 1960s the free love, self-expression and peace movement began (in some western countries).

Men were introduced to foreplay and suddenly challenged to bring women to orgasm.

At that time there wasn’t a lot of pressure to succeed, because for the previous 2,000 years women’s sexuality had been suppressed.

Besides, “good girls didn’t do that” anyway.

Today, being a good lover is challenging.

Women are now on the other side of the sexual revolution. Women don’t just want sex. Women want great sex filled with physical and emotional nourishment.

For men, this creates performance anxiety, because there is always the concern:

What if I can’t satisfy her?

What if my penis isn’t big enough?

What if I can’t get it up or last long enough?

What if I can’t give her an orgasm?

This traditional model of sex focuses on male performance, rather than creating pleasure for each other. The man has to make the right moves, pretend he knows things he doesn’t and put on a great performance to prove something.

This creates unnecessary anxiety—pretending to be interested, when his not—and lot of joyless sex.

The good news.

This traditional “performance” model is on its way out.

It’s being replaced by a new model.

The new model of sex emphasizes pleasure, closeness, intimacy, learning about self and enhancing your pleasure as well as your partners.

Sexual Love is the fuel in every passionate relationship. Without it, it’s like having an airplane with no jet fuel—you can’t fly anywhere. You can’t have new experiences. You are stuck in the same sexual routine that is no longer exciting.

The new sexual man.

More and more, I see that there is a “new sexual man” in the world. A man who wants to experience lovemaking to its full potential. A man who desires to make love in such a way that it opens his heart to one of life’s greatest pleasures and fulfills his deepest purpose and desires.

A new man who wants to know everything there is to know about lovemaking. I am not referring to just intercourse—anyone can do that.

Lovemaking is an art.

A different mindset about lovemaking.

Just thrusting in and out for an hour with no rhythm or finesse doesn’t make you a great lover, it makes you a fantastic porn star.

What’s important is the time you and your lover take to create the energy, while making love to fully awaken your senses. This allows you to build the feelings of passion and intimacy.

It’s better to give a woman a little of what she actually wants than a lot of what you think she want’s.
Example: Instead of going straight for her clitoris, tease the surrounding areas to build her anticipation. This is powerful.

Surrender to the experience. Surrendering doesn’t mean compromising or becoming submissive. It means allowing your self to let go and enjoy the pleasures of that moment.

It takes a lot of mental strength for a man to feel comfortable, to give up complete control and surrender to the experience. Try just once and see what happens.

It’s not just about giving her more pleasure, but also learning how to receive pleasure. Women get pleasure from knowing their lover is receiving her pleasure.

This new sexual man understands the importance of learning about love, sex, relationships and most importantly about himself.

Most men have avoided exploring many aspects of their sexuality because the general focus has been emphasized his performance instead of opening himself to his pleasures.

Many man don’t come to this realization until they invest the time and energy in themselves and change their mindset about lovemaking.

Embrace a creative whole-body approach rather than practicing porn style sex. A woman wants 100% of you not just your penis.

Challenge yourself to rise above the mundane and live among the exceptional.

~

Relephant read:

The Exquisite Lover.

~

Author: Christina Antonyan

Editor: Ashleigh Hitchcock

Photo: flickr