The best (and worst) part about this performance is that it’s excruciatingly believable.

It’s so comically effective because the subject matter is something we’re all familiar with—it sits at the apex of mainstream yet well-meaning consumerism and manipulative counter-culture marketing that turns the essence of philanthropy on its generous little head.

You’ll notice that barely any of the actual customers are surprised by the actor’s conversation points. Some actually even nod along with him when he starts spewing pseudo-scientific, entirely fabricated gut-health words, act impressed when he tells them that Whole Food’s suppliers are all lesbian couples from northern Maine or that they harvest their mushrooms from the broom closet (now that’s local!).

Ps. When did “grass fed children” and “homosexual cows” become a selling point?