I spent the whole weekend eating nothing but junk.

I think I actually ate my weight in cake, s’mores and these brownie bite things with peanut butter cups in them.

Did you notice how vague that description got near the end? I wasn’t paying close attention to what I was eating, the wrappers they came in, or the ingredients listed on them. This is coming from someone who rarely eats anything that even has an ingredients list or a wrapper! I like whole foods with simple names I can easily pronounce, but I went to a family picnic one day and spent the other two days of this long holiday weekend out on the road.

I knew better than to eat all that crap, but I did it anyway and then woke up with a major sugar hangover and a grumpy attitude.

My stomach hurt, my heart hurt, really everything hurt. I didn’t want to get on my yoga mat because I felt so sluggish and bloated. I just wanted to spend a whole day in bed.

Was it worth eating all that junk food?

No.

Did I know better at the time?

Yes.

Then, why did I eat all of that food that I already knew wouldn’t agree with me?

It was there. It was simpler to eat what was there than be a picky vegan. Also, it was a holiday. I hope I’m not the only one who still somehow thinks cheat days are a good idea. Well, maybe not a good idea. I know they’re not good for me. I know that they’ll mess up my good habits and good vibes. So, why do I still take them?

I blame the ego.

The ego is what tells us we’re better or worse than others. It’s that obnoxious voice that drags you down and keeps you from trying new things. It’s main objective is to stop change, because change means that you’ll figure out that there are better ways to live/feel/think/be.

So, when we’re doing well with our fitness and eating, the ego voice will tell us, “You’re doing so well, you can take a break. You don’t need all that now, because you’re feeling so great! You can take a break!” And that is the worst thought ever! Because, I don’t know about you, but the moment I take a break, I have the hardest time getting back on course.

The ego plants that seed of doubt. Are we good enough to feel that good? Are we worthy of our path? Do I really want to wake up that early to go to the gym?

It’s almost like the ego convinces us that once we log enough hours, we don’t have to keep going. But, it’s not like you can drink a certain amount of green juice and then never have to drink it again. We still have to eat our veggies every day to be healthy.

So how do we get rid of that doubt and silence the ego?

I think all any of us can do is search for the truth and then hold onto it once we find it. Like, I know green juice is good for me. It takes away my joint pain and clears my head. I have more energy when I drink it regularly and I even sleep better. It’s just miracle juice! That is my truth. So, when I get that doubt or hear that voice telling me to skip a day or to sleep in instead of making it, I remember that truth. I cling to it. I write it down so I can see it.

Whether it’s your health, fitness, or something else, we can only ever look for our own truth. It’s different for everyone. Maybe kale makes you sick or you need to eat meat for health reasons. Whatever it is, find your truth and know it in your heart. Don’t let anyone, your ego or anyone, try and take it away from you.

P.S. I’m not saying we can’t have cupcakes, but reading the ingredients list is always a good idea.

Author: Stacy Porter

Editor: Caroline Beaton

Photo: Author’s own