I’m not a huge TV watcher and so I’ve missed Inside Amy Schumer on Comedy Central until I saw the Last F*ckable Day video here.

I hope this signals a feminist Elephant waking up and spraying a trunk full of water all over the place. I have an image of an Elephant with four wonder woman bracelets at each ankle and a red cape.

You are welcome.

Anyhow, now that I’ve got a mad crush on all things Schumer I can’t stop watching her online videos. She totally takes on the boy band foursome just letting the girls know they are so loved, so pretty and perfect they don’t need all that make up.

It’s apparently the highest compliment or something Because I guess, the boys think that make-up is all for them so they just want to say, “You don’t need to do that for me sweet thing. Don’t go to the trouble.”

Well okay. stud muffin—thank you? That’s a relief!

Enjoy, but we warned…the tune will stay in your head.

If I was making a video satire response it would be a girl band singing:

“Boy, You Don’t Need to Keep Your Name.

Take it off.

Let it go.”

or

“Boy, You don’t need to make 100K.

That’s too high.

60K is fine…”

When I was engaged, I had had mixed feelings about changing my name. I wasn’t particularly attached to it for a long list of reasons. I’d been a writer, published under White. It was something I had since birth. It was also shared with my sister.

“Let’s create a new name…our own family  name” I said to my ex, “maybe combining letters from both names.”

“I’m not that much of a feminist,” he said.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

He believed in equality but it just seemed strange. His last name  had 12 letters and was really harder to spell.

“So do you just want to take my name?” I said kind of knowing the answer.

Spoiler: it was a no response.

Shocked, right?

This kind of conversation is had, in early love, life and relationship planning and many of us had a version of it.

So, my husband to be ran the conversation by his best friend who came back with something like, “It’s not like her father was even good to her (he wasn’t). Why is she so attached?”

I guess if I had to pick a man’s name I should choose between the quality of the men with the last names.

Oh. Oh. Oh. I hadn’t realized that because I thought my last name was actually my last name.

Duh…

So in that moment I got super attached to my last name. It’s been on my byline my whole damn life right stored right next to my Wonder Woman bracelets.

We’ve all got our egos and our arrogance and whatever we’ve got left to learn. I know I’m knee deep in it all the time.

Thank Goddess for humor and Amy Schumer and being able to laugh at our own stuff too.

Author: Christine Cissy White 

Editor: Renée Picard

Image: Screenshot of Youtube Video