I was not raised to be a strong woman but nonetheless
I became one
I was raised to become a mother and a good wife to my husband
Nothing more, really.
I was taught to keep my head low by my own mother
And not to say what is on my mind and talk back by my father
My grandmother taught me how to cook so I could cook for my future husband
How to sew to patch up a button to his business shirt
How to quietly leave the room when men start discussing important subjects
Women just can not understand
I was taught that my needs always came after the needs of others,
Especially my close family
I was afraid of disappointing them by doing things unthinkable to them
I was taught that a woman is responsible if a man raped her
By the way she acts, she walks, dresses
And by how late she was walking alone at night
I learned how to blame myself for a sexual assault
When i was only 16 and he was my boss of 47
I learned how to excuse boys for anything they did to me or my friends
With the famous boys-will-be-boys phrase
But then i started seeing the world as it really is
I held my head up high and started cooking for fun
I started telling the truth and naming things for what they are
Rape, violence, sexism, catcalling, controlling, discrimination
I learned how to embrace the good ones like feminism, empowerment and self-care
I became sex positive and discovered a part of myself
Without my cheeks blushing to the mention of sexuality
I realized sex was not only for reproduction but pleasure
And that women who have sex are not whores or sluts
They are aware of themselves and their needs and wants
I now know how to love my body and everyone else’s no matter their shape and size
I found strength within myself to recover from all the damage this society inflicted on me
And how to take care of myself when I am most fragile
I learned to love honestly with my whole being
Without concern whether I loved a boy, a girl or someone beautifully different
I learned how to make gender roles disappear and do whatever I want to
I saw women who are amazing football players
And those who wrote books and have PhDs
They all made me and other girls realize nothing is impossible
And that all people are equal and beautiful no matter what they tell you
That is what you should teach young girls and women around the world
That is how I found happiness and the strength to wake up every morning
And take on the world with everything I can give
This is why I needed feminism.
Relephant:
Is Feminism an F-word?
Author: Nedžiba Idrizović
Editor: Catherine Monkman
Photo: Julia Wright/Flickr
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