When my beau presented me with a Cartier promise ring, I knew just what to do: put that sucker on. Post-split, it wasn’t so clear. Or was it?

I never thought a man would give me a Cartier ring. I certainly never expected to receive something so lavish after dating someone for only four months. And when we broke up—an awful, scary, character-revealing breakup that came close to a restraining order—I tried my best to convince myself the ring was not full of that energy. His energy. The energy that caused me countless sleepless nights, tears of despair and lingering health problems.

Because I loved that ring.

It was beautiful. He told me that the trinity ring of interlocking rose, yellow and white gold, sprinkled with diamonds, represented a promise of mind, body and soul. Never mind the fact that I literally tried to break up with him less than an hour before he gave me that ring for Valentine’s Day.

My best friend came to visit me a couple of months later and when she saw my hand, she freaked. She told me she’d wanted a Cartier trinity ring for years—it was the only thing she wanted for her 30th birthday—and she’d never gotten one. I remember her saying jokingly, “Well, if it doesn’t work out with you guys it will have been worth it for the ring!”

Clearly, I knew better. But the charisma kept me around a little bit longer. The lofty promises, the declarations of love I’d never heard before, it was addictive and I totally lost myself for a moment.

Just a moment.

Then it was over.

As I happily moved on with my life, I heard wise women tell me to take that thing off my finger. I expressed my concern to my intuitive, who laughed it off and told me in her diva ways: “Oh honey, the moment that ring left his hand and was given to you, it became a gift from God.” That somehow made me feel better, as if I now had an excuse to keep this pretty little thing on my rebellious left middle finger. Besides, it matched my other jewelry so nicely.

I sat with Arielle Ford one day—my sage friend and mentor who teaches people to purge all old items from past loves in order to create space for their soulmate—and told her about the ring. I told her what my intuitive said about it being a gift from God. Arielle simply looked at me, smiled a bit, and said, “Well, why don’t you wear it for now and when you’re ready to meet your soulmate, you might want to put it aside for a while.” I thought that was a nice compromise. “When I’m ready to meet my soulmate,” I thought, “that might be a year or so from now… I’m a busy woman.”

Clearing the path for my soulmate—three clues:

Clue 1.

I wore the ring because it made me feel fancy.

I wore it because it made me feel classy.

I wore it because…well…it became a really nice thing to fidget.

I noticed the fidgeting a few months ago. Whenever I got somewhat nervous, I would fidget and roll that trinity ring up and down my middle finger. It became a nervous habit when I needed my strength the most.

Clue 2. 

The man who gave me that ring was deceitful and manipulative. A few days after we broke up, he sent me a nasty text message saying, “That promise ring I gave you was $3500. When sh*t hits the fan, you can sell it.” I promptly blocked him from contacting me after that.

Even though sh*t did not “hit the fan,” I did look into selling the thing. Turns out you can’t get much for stuff like this, and I didn’t want to deal with the hassle. So, I kept it on my finger.

Fidgeting.

Classy.

Goodbye, soulmate.

Hello, sparkles.

I knew the ring had an expiration date. I could feel it.

The last moment came while sitting with a wonderful friend and mentor with a gift of seeing energy around, between and within people. He knows me well. As we sat deep in conversation, he looked at me suddenly and said, “What’s going on with that ring? I can see an aggressive masculine energy coming up your arm, into your right shoulder. It’s not good, Amy.”

My right shoulder had been in intense pain for weeks.

I looked at him and told him where the ring came from. In so many words, he said take it off. The moment I did, my hand felt lighter. My entire being felt lighter.

I reached for the space I once fidgeted and felt clarity.

Clue 3. 

It was off. I was cleared.

Without hesitation, I knew this ring would be gifted to someone who loved it. It would be a birthday gift to my dear friend who visited a few months prior. And it would require deep energy cleansing, for sure. Luckily, we godesses run with sage and crystals.

I never thought a man would give me a Cartier promise ring.

I also never thought I’d give away a Cartier promise ring.

As I think back to that moment when I took that ring off my hand, something in me knew it was never mine to keep. Even the myth of the trinity ring, with the three clues, was my own little hero’s journey—each with just the right insights delivered in the moments when I could actually receive them from the friends and mentors who gifted me the courage of letting the ring go.

What I didn’t know then, was the gift of this ring was in my letting it go. I never once looked back.

Gifting the ring was my soul’s purpose, making room for me to experience a different kind of soulmate connection with my own purpose.

The funny thing is, the package almost got lost forever in the mail. I took it as a nice little reminder from the Universe of the impermanence of everything.

When my friend opened her birthday package with me on the phone, I waited in anticipation for her reaction.

Would it freak her out?

Or would she love it?

She was thrilled. She had her crystals and sage ready to go in no time, as the goddess she is. In her ability and willingness to receive the ring from me, my friend is making room for it to serve her for a moment or a lifetime.

I smiled, knowing it had found a new home and I had been cleared.

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Relephant: 

10 Tips: If the Buddha gave Dating Advice.

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“Becoming ‘awake’ involves seeing our confusion more clearly.” ~ Chögyam Trungpa

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Author: Amy Baglan 

Editor: Rachel Nussbaum 

Photo: Eiko/Flickr