If you wanna little something more like this, read:
3 Reasons why Some Women Can’t Orgasm with a Partner.
The Unique Power of Deeply Intimate Sex. {Adult}
6 Ways to have Radically Intimate Sex 

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Author’s Note: Although there is scientific content in this article, the information presented here has been gathered primarily via personal experience as counselors. We invite you to take the information lightly, with an open mind. See if you can find yourself in the descriptions that follow. After all, sexuality is supposed to be an amazing, creative and exceedingly fun experience that is not to be taken too seriously.

Orgasms! Who doesn’t love a great one?

How often are we really having those amazing, mind-blowing orgasms that set our whole world on fire?

While men and women share many of the same physiological reactions during climax, their actual orgasms are quite different. This article will focus on what women’s orgasms—or lack thereof—say about them.

When we use the term orgasm, we refer specifically to the climax, that time when fireworks are going off and life feels amazing.

There are two basic types of orgasm for women. While both types can be broken down into subcategories, for our purposes here we will simplify and talk about the two primary ones—the internal and external orgasms.

The external, or clitoral orgasm.

Probably the best-known and most familiar type of orgasm for the female, the clitoris is packed with over 8,000 nerve endings, and its sole known purpose is to provide women knee-juddering pleasure.

Did you know that the clitoris is structurally the same mechanism that develops in the penis on a man? So in effect, when the clitoris is being stimulated, it is not all that different from a man stroking his own penis. Similar to the male orgasm, it is explosive in the sense that it is energy “outward,” which is why one can be so exhausted after this type of orgasm, even though it feels so amazing.

What the clitoral orgasm says about the way you live your life:

If clitoral orgasms are the primary type you experience, you are probably in for quick gratification and immediate results and might be living your life on the surface.

How much are you obsessing about one particular aspect in life while pushing aside the bigger, all encompassing picture and possibilities life has to offer? Your life experiences may not have much variety. You like to take what you have right in front of you, what is visible and tangible. You are likely to look for quick relief when it comes to de-stressing. Going deep within yourself probably scares you, or you may think of it as being too much work.

We like to refer to the clitoral orgasm as the “teenage orgasm,” just the beginning, or the entrance point into our super complex sexuality as compared to the internal orgasm that is the full body experience.

The internal orgasm.

Also known as the sometimes controversial “G-spot” orgasm, this doesn’t happen naturally for all women, though every woman has the capacity to enjoy it.

Vaginal orgasms are achieved more through intercourse and digital stimulation than clitoral orgasms, and can be induced by direct stimulation of the G-spot. Women who report having vaginal orgasms frequently experience multiple orgasms as well.

These internal orgasms are implosive, meaning “energy in”, and often lead to female ejaculation. The feeling is experienced throughout the entire body. It leads to a great uptick in energy and over-all turn on throughout the day because the energy is retained in the body for many hours.

What the internal orgasm says about your life:

You like to delve deep into the experiences of life. You like to explore, play, and find the new and the exciting. You are not in it for the “quick fix” or the “instant gratification” that so many demand out of today’s society. Instead, you prefer to develop your projects, step by step, and feel the excitement of things expanding around you. You are never content with the ordinary or the status-quo. You are probably interested and curious about the mysteries of life and the adventures it has to offer—and you want it all. You take your time to explore things and you know that when you are fully in and fully engaged you open yourself to the most life has to offer.

We now understand that there are two types of orgasms: what happens when a woman struggles with having orgasms, and how does that show itself in other aspects of her life? Let us now look at some common struggles with the female orgasm:

1. Checking out.

Remember those times when you were having great sex with your partner—they are thrilled with your presence, the chemistry seems great, and then at the blink of an eye you are gone? You have checked out. You suddenly turn to ice. This can manifest itself through a simple distraction, a thought, or even just a sound.

Whatever the source, you are no longer interested in sex, even though you want more than anything to be there and to be present.

What this says about your life: You might get easily excited about work or personal projects, but you also become easily distracted. You lose focus, and you don’t finish tasks. Your mind is running the show most of the time, and usually not in your best interest.

You might want to learn how to make the mind work for you, rather than against you. You may get overwhelmed by excitement in life and just don’t know how to handle all the good stuff that is coming to you.

How much do you believe in the abundance of life? Women also experience “spiritual escapism.” Rather than dealing with all (the good and the bad) that life has to offer, you might mentally travel around in the universe to feel free and expansive.

2. Always needing the clitoral orgasm.

There has been a great deal written about how most women cannot climax through intercourse, leading many to believe that the only way they can achieve climax is through clitoral stimulation. News Flash: What if you knew that almost all women can have a vaginal orgasm, and it would take only a few tools and a little practice to get there?

What this says about your life: You probably are not aware of how powerful and expansive a being you are. You don’t realize that you are a super star, and you deserve all of the time, attention and effort there is in order to get everything out of life. You might have self doubts and lack of confidence in yourself, your body and your life. You have settled, and you are playing in a much smaller arena than you should. You are not aware of all of the creative forces and abilities that women have. You have bought into the societal programming that men are more powerful.

3. Orgasmic Breakdown.

This one shows up the most with our clients: You are having sex. All is going great, and then there it is—that memory. That feeling. That person. Maybe even tears or pain that you just don’t understand, and it has now ruined everything, again. You have to stop having sex, and you feel terrible for doing so. You live with the fear of losing your partner because this happens over and over again.

What it says about your life: You have experienced trauma, or you are carrying guilt and/or shame deep within you. Something is telling you that you do not deserve this sexual freedom, that you are not worthy of it, and you cannot have it all. On some level you might be ashamed of who you are, so you try to hide those parts of your life. You are afraid to show all of your radiance and beauty. You might think life is unfair and people just want to take advantage of you.

4. Relying too much on vibrators.

Yes, a vibrator can be a great tool for achieving climax—and, oh hell yes, it feels awesome! But when used too often, that vibration and even the girth, can make the real thing seem like vanilla sex. That penis simply lacks the same amazing twists, turns and vibration of the toy. This is the easy way out.

What it says about your life: Are you using short cuts to get to things in life? Do you often take the easy way out? You probably have a tendency towards over-stimulation in order to feel like yourself—you need a lot of action, or you might feel numb, bored or even disinterested in life. You often settle for less just to have quick results.

There are occasions where you rush through things, even though they are supposed to be fun. You are often in a hurry to get on with things, rather than enjoying the event. This includes meals—you hurry through your food to get on with things. By doing so you miss out on all of the subtle sensations brought through the senses of taste and smell, as well as meaningful conversations with friends and family.

5. No desire.

Having little to no desire for sex is another of the problems brought to our attention by clients. “Sex is just not all that it is chalked up to be.” “It’s nothing like the lyrics to all of those beautiful love songs.” “It’s boring.” “It’s always the same.” “It doesn’t fill me up or complete me.”

Many confess the inability to climax, and tell us they simply don’t want to bother.

What this says about your life: You do not feel inspired. You feel your life is boring and you no longer have fun. You don’t play in the sandbox of life like you once did. Many use the term “hum-drum.” You are probably working at a job that you don’t like and doing so just for the paycheck. You are envious of folks whose careers mirror their hobbies and which bring joy into their lives. You don’t feel seen or heard. You feel like everything and everyone comes (no pun intended) first. You don’t connect deeply with people and feel that your relationships are mostly superficial.

If you have been reading this and it is resonating, don’t you think it is time to turn yourself back to the joys of life?

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