I’m a foodie who sucks at cooking. But I am great at sucking.

After chatting with my passionate friend and foodie, Chef Melissa Mayo (who could teach anybody how to suck an oyster out of its shell with sheer perfection), I was reminded of my long-stemming tumultuous romance with food.

As a child I lived off junk food. My mom always prepared my lunch meals to take to school and made dinner for when I got home but I was more interested in the desserts and snacks. It’s no wonder I had lots of digestive issues. Food was something I had a love-hate relationship with because I never knew what would get me sick.

By the end of high school, I worked in a natural food store and tried to become a vegetarian. I learned a few important things about food.

1. Beets don’t come sliced in cans and green beans aren’t pre-sliced with almonds, also in cans.

2. Seitan is a real food not just a demon from hell.

3. People actually drink vegetables (juicing), and

4. I had never been sicker, skinnier or more of a pain the a** then when I was a vegetarian. The only ones who were happy were the animals I was saving.

I didn’t need a dietary shift, I needed a mental one and so began my attempt to rekindle my love affair with food.

When it comes to love, food and sex, devour and savor are words that we should be compelled to use—both should just be that f**king good!

A great meal, like a great date doesn’t have to put us in the poor-house just so we can experience it. Great food and sex are equal parts the “experiencer” and what is being offered to experience. We just have to be open to it.

Food and sex are primal needs that vary from the creation and sustaining of life to the extreme pleasure and indulgence. Personally, I’m focused on the latter. I watch as many indulgent food driven movies and T.V. shows as I do porn.

Sadly, I didn’t inherit the cooking gene. (Sorry, guys.) My grandmother, my mother and my brother are amazing cooks. My father and I are better at using the microwave and making things like spaghetti with butter and ketchup. Yes, you read that right. It’s an acquired taste, that’s not even remotely sexy, but someone had to love it and so I did.

I’m much better at dialing and eating. My attempts at cooking have been fun but futile. In relationships, I have dressed up all sexy-like to set the cooking mood, decanted a beautiful wine to be shared while I prepared food, kissed my lover’s cheeks a thousand times throughout the process and I still get nicknamed, “Hurricane Heather” in the kitchen.

Couples cooking classes anyone? I hear Sur La Table is a bucket of fun and makes for a great date night!

Like my friend, Chef Melissa, I love the beauty of food. A beautiful food presentation is like art that truly excites me. (Yes, I’m one of those instagramers who takes pictures of beautiful food presentations and posts with #foodporn as a caption.) Well-executed food presentation is an artistic creation I get to admire, touch, taste, smell, photograph, share and ultimately tear apart to consume.

The entire sense-indulging process of anticipating, seeing, smelling, sharing and eating a great meal is even better when shared with someone you adore.

We experience food with the same five senses we use to make love.

We smell, taste, touch, hear and see food the same way we inhale, eat, grab, tune into and experience our lover’s body, mind and soul.

Food is so much more than simple sustenance and the relationship we have with it doesn’t have to be a tumultuous one. It should be a love affair. Have you ever noticed the way people eat, enjoy and indulge in food translates to similar behavior in the bedroom?

Food compatibility is right up there with sexual compatibility, meaning it matters.

The right foods can enhance our libidos by increasing testosterone, estrogen, increasing circulation and even mimicking brain molecules that help us feel good (take a look at the research on dark chocolate).

If you’re looking to use food to kick up your libido, test out a few of these sex-enhancing, mood-boosting foods: oysters, truffles, chocolate, coffee, wine, chilli peppers, berries, nuts and seeds.

Eat, lick, nibble, slurp and suck…food can make us so damn horny. Enjoy!

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Relephant read:

Top 10 Foods for Better Sex.

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Author: Heather Dawn

Editor: Kjhara-Jade Warren

Image: Steven Depolo/ Flickr

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