This article originally appeared on MeetMindful. elephant is proud to share their content, and we think you’ll love them just as much as we do. Happy reading! ~ Ed.

Mindful dating isn’t really a new concept. In fact, I think it’s what most people strive for.

Mindfulness is the process of being conscious of your thoughts, feelings, and reactions while allowing them to move through you without resistance. Not attaching action to them, just awareness.

Mindful dating is applying that same awareness to the process of dating and your partner—essentially, being a witness for one another. Now, I think most of us in a heroic attempt for mindfulness, struggle with the one ingredient not included in mindfulness: judgement. Below is a bit of perspective on how it looks and feels to be mindful with yourself and your partner.

Accomplishment

Mindfulness of thought: It’s good to have issues; great to understand them.

In each one of us is a profound constellation of interacting feelings, thoughts, spiritual and biological patterns, and learned impressions. Paying close enough attention to yourself to recognize your own allows you to witness another’s without judgement.

Application: He’s an unfocused driver after a long day at work. She is not a good passenger any day. He lets her drive after a long day at work.

Determination

Mindfulness of emotion: Fear and distrust leave as easily as they come.

We fear what we don’t know—and sometimes what we do know. But when you can witness your fear, it becomes a foreign language that you have the opportunity to decode through mastering its message. Embracing your fears in relationships can be peaceful if you let it. Fear is not a premonition of things that won’t work out, it is the presence of pain needing to be transformed through grief.

Application: Her previous relationship was with a man who lied to her about everything. His previous relationship abandoned him without warning. Today, when suspicion creeps in, they talk about what they feel, hold each other and strengthen one another through their grief.

Peace

Mindfulness of desire: Wanting is good, wanting what you have is magnificent.

Being mindful means you’ve considered the partner you want to have. It also means that you don’t attach yourself to that list: letting the acceptance of what is happening wash over you allowing the understanding and value of what you’re attracting to meet the awareness of your deeper needs that are being met. There is purpose in everything so when you no longer need something it ceases to exist…

…Follow us over to MeetMindful to finish reading What Mindful Dating Really Looks Like.

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Author: Tracee Dunblazier 

Editor: Katarina Tavčar

Photo: Adrian V. Floyd/Flickr