Creating the life of our dreams, and the life we deserve is not only possible, but is probably easier and more accessible than we think.

It is important to know that we are not the only one who wants more in life.

It is completely natural to have strong desires and to feel pulled toward them, this is the essence of growth, change and expansion. Whether we want a significant other, more money, a job, owning a home or car, raising a family or contributing something meaningful to this world, the steps to get there are the same.

Let’s first clarify the word desire.

I look at desire on two levels.

First, the desire that most people are familiar with is a lustful desire to have, or do something in order to fill some feeling of lack inside. I call this “superficial desire.”

All of us have experienced this on some level, and some of us live our lives around our superficial desires. We know something is a superficial desire because shortly after we do or have what we thought we wanted, we are still left with the feeling of lack.

Superficial desires bring short term relief but quite often leave us feeling even less fulfilled than before what we thought would feel so good. I’m not saying that money will not bring us happiness, because I know first hand that poverty does not bring us happiness either. It is easy to blame money for unhappiness whether we have it or not.

What is important to understand that if we have a feeling of lack inside, there is no amount of money, friends, family, clothes, shoes, yoga poses, followers on social media or accomplishments that will fill that lack.

The empty feeling comes from a lack of connection to our heart, and the core of our being which can only be fulfilled by driving our attention inward to the life energy within us. Practices like yoga, Thai Chi, meditation or other mind/body/spirit disciplines can help to guide us to connect with to the core of our being.
The second level of desire is what I call our “heart’s desire.”

This is the desire deep inside that comes from the place of love and celebration. We can identify our heart’s desire by the feeling we get when it’s filled. The feeling is often gratitude, joy, appreciation or a feeling of being relaxed and filled with long term satisfaction.

Looking from the outside, we can not see the difference between the heart’s desire and a superficial desire.

That is because the difference lies within the intention for wanting it. For example someone may have the desire to own a home, or husband/wife or high paying job because of the superficial desire to fill their parent’s or society’s definition of success. On the flip side, they could want the same things because of their heart’s desire to have a safe space to relax, share their love with someone else or enjoy the fruits of life that are available all around us.

Its not merely a shift in language but a shift in feeling.

We know when you are filling our heart’s desire because of the feeling of fullness that comes along with it.

The three steps to creating the life of our dreams.

1. To create the “life of our dreams” we have to first be able to decipher the difference between our heart’s desire and our superficial desire.

This is most important because what we focus on is what we will grow and cultivate more. Many people are already in their power and manifesting, or creating from their desire, but are continually creating what they think they want, and are continuously striving for more because they are producing an abundance of something that brings them little to no fulfillment.

This is not to say that we should not have superficial desires, but dedicating our time and energy to them will leave us feeling defeated.

To discover your heart’s desire, start with connecting to your body and breath.

This may be a new concept for some. I recommend trying a practice like yoga to connect to your body and breath. Our body and breath are always in the present moment—where the heart and love also exist. Becoming present will help you escape the patterns of your mind and allow space to connect to the desires of your heart.

2. Write down the specifics of what your heart desire.

Write down the exact amount of money, the color of the house, the color eyes of the partner you want. Being specific lends to the necessary momentum for change to come about. Specificity will also trigger your mind to begin looking for what you want. Have you ever bought a car and all of a sudden began seeing similar cars everywhere, or become interested in something and all of a sudden you see it everywhere.

The mind tunes itself to the frequency you set it.

Writing things down with specific details will help you tune your mind. You will begin talking about what you want, and you will find yourself connecting to people that coincidently know someone that can help you get to where you are going. You will randomly come across articles (perhaps this one) or books that point you in the direction you are trying to move toward.

It’s incredibly important that writing down the specifics is a way to build momentum, not to lock you into an outcome.

This is why its important to keep up your practice of connecting to your inner heart. When your desire shifts, write down what you want. So long as you are alive you will continue to shift your desires. People who do this type of manifesting create their life and enjoy its ever changing nature instead of passively watching their life go by and collect a handful of memories on Facebook to remind them that they had a fleeting moment of joy once.

You have an opportunity to create the life of your dreams—and your dreams will always change—do not let that stop you from the creation.

The fearful painter never makes his first stroke out of fear it might be the wrong one, ruining the non-existent painting. The masterful painter courageously begins taking strokes, knowing that he can always change course at anytime or simply put together a new canvas and start anew.

3. Take Action.

Many people take action first, based on a unidentified desire and overexert their energy and wind up having no time for anyone or anything, including themselves. They are working so hard and they don’t have a clear understanding about why all this work doesn’t create a feeling of fullness.

“Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare.”                        ~ Japanese Proverb

Take the first two steps so you know exactly what you want.

Your hard work will have passion behind it, and it will feel good to you. Your work will point directly to your heart’s desire, and therefore be more effective and powerful. When you know what you want, the exact actions necessary to take will become clear.

When we develop the courage to truly look inside of ourselves, our heart’s desire will become clear.

We have the opportunity to amplify it by writing it down, talking about it, research it and happily dream about it.

You will stop burning yourself out by overdoing in areas that do not align with your heart—your energy will shift toward what you do desire.

Author: Matt Giordano

Editor: Ashleigh Hitchcock

Photo: flickr/Norman Rockwell Self-Portrait