Be your own dearest lover, and everyone else’s love becomes a bonus#daringgreatly #fiercewomen #strongwomen pic.twitter.com/JhxGIn8XDH

— Grace (@GraceQuillen) August 29, 2016

Lately, I’ve been thinking about all of the strong women I’ve had the joy of knowing over the years.

The mentors and teachers, friends and family members who have had intelligence, wit, backbone, sass and enormous reserves of strength. These women inspired my own independence and nurtured my strength. And I hope that I—and other strong women in my life—will be the same sort of influence for my son and daughter as they grow up.

We are the independent women, taking care of business and living our lives by our own rules. We are resilient, and we are determined to live the best lives that we can. Often we do it alone, without a partner providing support. We hold the whole of the world on our capable shoulders, and sometimes we too need encouragement.

When I went through my divorce, I had a great multitude of people assure me that I would find my Prince Charming. To be honest, I wasn’t looking. My concern was how to build a new life for myself and my children. I wasn’t thinking about remarrying or even dating at that early stage. Even now, the idea of Prince Charming seems worlds away. Instead, I focus on being the woman I need to be in order to be a strong mother for my children.

During those assurances, I coined the phrase, “I don’t need a man getting on my nerves to make me happy.” I said it with sass and a smile, and I meant it. So many of the relationships I have witnessed have seemed filled with more frustration than joy, though there are a few that have given me mad relationship goals. But still, my focus for my happiness is not on being coupled.

Our own happiness is not (and cannot be) dependent on anyone else.

Still, we all could use a little encouragement from time to time—and I often take mine from some of these great ladies, so here are a few quotes to lift the spirits of the independent woman:

“If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.” ~ Katharine Hepburn

“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” ~ Anais Nin

“A woman is like a tea bag – you never know how strong she is until she gets in hot water.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.” ~ Maya Angelou

“Forget about the fast lane. If you really want to fly, just harness your power to your passion.” ~Oprah Winfrey

“I can’t think of any better representation of beauty than someone who is unafraid to be herself.” ~ Emma Stone

“There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” ~ Anais Nin.

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along. You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt.

“I’m not afraid of storms, for I’m learning to sail my ship.” ~ Louisa May Alcott.

“The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off.” ~ Gloria Steinem.

“But it’s a journey and the sad thing is you only learn from experience, so as much as someone can tell you things, you have to go out there and make your own mistakes in order to learn.” ~ Emma Watson

“I don’t want other people to decide who I am. I want to decide that for myself.” ~ Emma Watson

“When someone is cruel or acts like a bully, you don’t stoop to their level. No, our motto is, when they go low, we go high.” ~ Michelle Obama

“Find out who you are and be that person. That’s what your soul was put on this Earth to be. Find that truth, live that truth and everything else will come.” ~ Ellen DeGeneres

“After all those years as a woman hearing ‘not thin enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough, not this enough, not that enough,’ almost overnight I woke up one morning and thought, ‘I’m enough.’ ” ~Anna Quindlen

“Don’t compromise yourself. You are all you’ve got.” ~ Janis Joplin

“Remember no one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”  ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

“I have come to realize making yourself happy is most important. Never be ashamed of how you feel. You have the right to feel any emotion you want, and do what makes you happy. That’s my life motto.” ~ Demi Lovato

“When I get lonely these days, I think: So be lonely, Liz. Learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it, for once in your life. Welcome to the human experience. But never again use another person’s body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilled yearnings.”  ~ Elizabeth Gilbert

“There are two ways you can go with pain: You can let it destroy you or you can use it as fuel to drive you…”  ~ Taylor Swift

.

~

Author: Crystal Jackson

Image: Twitter @GraceQuillen

Editor: Yoli Ramazzina